Last night at the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah concert someone Rlo knew walked by. He, of course, didn’t introduce me.
He pretends he’s protecting me from his Mormon friends and their wild heathen activities such as praying, and talking reverently about Jesus or kittens. However, I know the truth: he’s protecting them from me and my need to use the word fuck at least 3,000 times a day.
“Was that one of your Mormons or school friends?”
“She’s a Mormon friend, and a nurse.”
“Another one? How many naughty nurse friends do you have?”
“Let’s just say I’m covered in the sponge bath department.”
“Ohhh, if I ever get too lazy to shower can I borrow them?”
Rlo looked at me in disgust and said, “No, Sarah, I’ll hire that out. It’s worth the money.”
I see absolutely no reason why Rlo should be embarrassed of my extreme laziness. If anything he should be pleased, especially now during the Olympics. Where’s his sense of competitive pride? I’d fire him, but he’s irreplaceable.