It’s Valentine’s Day. This should be the day of celebrating a loving relationship, yet we aren’t. I blame you.
No really, I do.
You’ve been so absent lately. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if you’re still working correctly. There’s no other explanation for your complete failure to love someone of the opposite sex properly. You’re so good at loving family, friends and even that stinky pug, so I know you are capable of love.
What’s your deal? Are you still upset with me for staying in that relationship even after you’d been broken? I’ve apologized so many times. I’ve even fed you ice cream, AND chocolates. There’s nothing more I can do. You need to let it go and forgive me.
Sure, I understand you’re probably a little scared of getting hurt again, but we are strong. If we work as a team we can kick the shit out of this love thing. We are tough bitches, my friend.
So what are you so afraid of?
Dude, stop being a pussy and live a little! If you break, you break. Broken hearts mend. And I have an entire box of Hello Kitty Band-Aids, just in case.
Now go out there and make momma proud. Or else.