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Abstinence is the New Naughty

My Rocking Abstinence Sweats

When I saw these sweats on a fashion blog I read, I just knew I had to have them. Finally something to make me feel like there’s a purpose behind the lull in my sex life!

Yeah, I’m not dating the younger guy anymore, but since we’re friends and he reads this blog that’s all I’m going to say. While I won’t write about it, I’m more than happy to explain through interruptive dance for those interested.

Back to the abstinence sweats…

I tried to get Rlo to drive me and Maddie to Kmart on Friday, but he was disgusted with me for even asking. Yet that didn’t stop him from calling the store two seconds later to see if they were still open. He claims the store phone number wasn’t on his speed dial, but really how else could he have called so quickly? His disgust with Kmart may have been a little more convincing had he not told me he was saving himself for Martha Stewart earlier that evening.


  • Still sad I have too much junk in mah trunk to sport the chastity ass sweats.

  • As hot as you look in those pants.. I just don’t see why you have to wait for love. LOL!

    And.. I think Martha’s gay – and if she’s not she should be. Rlo needs to rethink the whole saving himself for Martha thing… well in my opinion.

  • Thanks God I read this when I did. I bought the EXACT same pants and I was just about to make a similar post on my blog. Crisis averted.

  • We will know when you have transitioned from “patient waiting” to “foot-tapping irritation” when you start wearing those sweats I see everywhere that say “Juicy” across the butt. Please let that day never come.

  • No way, those are hawt. You should get his and hers pairs.

  • For some reason, I am expecting to see you turn around and flash a Care Bear on the ass of those pants. Perhaps Grumpy Bear? Definitely NOT Love-A-Lot Bear…

  • I think I’ll go pick a pair up for my daughter & save them for her teenage years…then make her wear them EVERY single day!

  • I think you should have some talented mormon housewife cross stitch on the back of your sweet sweats something about sodomy. Buttlove doesn’t count….right?

  • I think I may need to invest in a pair of those…I just finished writing about my lack of a sex life too…who knew I’d come to your blog and find these…miss you dearly.

  • Just posted last week about sex, and how to even keep it a part of life once you get married, so even if you are married, it’s never easy. Love the sweats, you won’t find those at Kmart.

  • I love the whole “Interruptive dance” thing… it sounds WAY cooler than interpretive.

    And I’m not being sarcastic…

  • Natalie, You win favorite reader of the day award!! Which really gets you nothing more than knowing I’m on my couch giggling. Fucking finally someone caught on! You know what I’m talking about, right? The form of dancing that interrupts those around you. Seriously, best reader ever!

  • Hmmmmm, are the abstinence promoting pants or letting someone know where true love waits?

  • There is no magic skill.

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