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And Now with Zero Cavities

My dental hygienist is a lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but just moments before I disovered her love of women she was telling me she couldn’t decide what her to buy her husband for Christmas.

After she finished cleaning my teeth, she stepped into the hallway and started talking to someone. “Oh my god she is cute, and looks great in pink! With those lashes she is simply beautiful.” At this point I was certain they weren’t talking about me, since I’m in black today– although I’ve been told by quite a few men I’ve dated that my eyelashes are pretty spectacular.

My dentist finished up and as I walked out saw the hygienist holding a baby bundled in pink. I’ll admit I was slightly relieved. The last thing anyone needs to get for Christmas is divorce papers.

Comments

  • Am I missing something?

    Are you implying based only on the comment your dental hygienist made, make her a lesbian?

    Cute.
    Pink.
    Lashes.
    Simply beautiful.

    All words I have definitely heard, too, from hetrosexuals. And don’t all ladies compliment other fremales friends like that?

    Believe me, I don’t doubt you’re wrong. As I am sure your gay-dar is outstandingly accurate! But give me more to go on here…. Did she brush your chest in a not-so-subtle way? Did she then plant a big smoocher on the chick in the cute pink outfit afterward? Or did she come out and say “I’d do her,” without mentioning the key phrase, “if I was a lesbian.”?

    You are pretty dot on with the funny, yet obviously I am missing the observational humor here.

    Please help clarify.

  • Um, Dave, I hope you seriously aren’t suggesting that the hygienist say “I’d do her…” in reference to an *infant*, are you? I presume the whole baby thing was an oversight…

    As for other observations, whatever happened to all the anons posting lewd, lesbian fantasy comments here? (See Dave, I don’t think you’re comment warranted inclusion here.) Does the now apparent lack of locker-room drivel leave a slight twinge of disappointment, Sarah? Or do you think it means your audience has simply matured? (My recently discovered grey hair suggests the latter case.)

  • Um…

    Very sorry.

    If I may, in my defense, I got caught up in sarahbellum discussing the possibility of lesian antics in a dentist’s office! And I saw the word/letter a instead as her – where it became, “…I walked out saw the hygienist holding her baby bundled in pink.” Further, with the lesbian air floating through my mind, I managed to view baby as slang for girlfriend.

    Now, I see the humor.

    Clear.

    As.

    A.

    Bell.

    Thanks.

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