Asshole is my safe word. This title has nothing to do with the post, but it makes me laugh all the same.
Sometimes I try and be a good person, but my effort usually turns into a giant wad of embarrassment. Driving home from school today I saw my friend Jeff walking to the train station. His house is on my way home so I figured why not save him some time and give him a lift.
I pulled my car over and yelled out the window, “Hey jerk, wanna ride home?”
Well the jerk wasn’t Jeff. It was some stranger, who probably isn’t a jerk at all. Neither is Jeff, really, but I use the word jerk in a loving manner. Something a stranger wouldn’t know about me.
I should have explained the case of mistaken identity to the stranger, but noooooooo. Instead I sped off. Yup, that’s me. I flee when humiliated. That’s ALWAYS been my M.O.
Tomorrow that all changes, because tomorrow my new life M.O. will be: Just be an asshole already. You end up looking like one anyway.