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Bacon & Blankets

This year for Christmas I gave myself this blanket from Restoration Hardware. It’s quite possibly the best blanket in the entire world. I’ve never had a blanket so soft. I’m positive I’m snuggling under the skinned carcasses of teddy bears. I’m from the country, I’m down with dead animals touching me. As long as they stay away from my digestive system I’m good.

The description on the website says this blanket is “generously sized for cuddling.” Which is a big fat marketing lie. I’m not a large girl and there is no way I could fit another person comfortably under this thing. I am selfish with my blankets and like to be covered head to toe before allowing my blanket to tough another individual. Any individual, even a dog.

Daisy seems to think just because she is the same color as the blanket, I won’t notice her hair all over it. Once I caught her laying on the blanket, I moved it to where she couldn’t reach it while I’m gone. This afternoon when I got home she had found the blanket and was sound asleep on it.

Needless to say, I was pissed. This one-eyed dog who can’t manage to pour me a glass of wine or anything useful, can find a well-hidden blanket. Dogs would do anything for a good nap, which is way more than even Ben would do for comfort. Unless the blanket smelled like bacon.

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