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Bitch Stole my Phone

I couldn’t find my phone anywhere this morning.  I looked for a good twenty minutes and then in a moment of defeat sat down next to Daisy on the couch, where I found her snuggled up with the phone.  I think it’s safe to say Daisy is an Apple dog.  She never once tried to spoon my Blackberry.


  • To Daisy:

    I understand thy motives Daisy, truly I do. The allure of phones of i would attract even the most firm-willed of bitches–yea, I too have fallen on occasion! I also understand thy bitterness. You believe that, just as one has plucked thine own eye away, you may pluck an eye-phone away from our Nielstein, and in doing so, rectify all misfortunes.

    Vengeance is a road oft traveled, Cap’n, but let me, from one Pug to another, be very clear: this tomfoolish puggery MUST stop if you wish to gain the sweet nectar of respect. Your buccaneering days are long gone!

    Ah, truly darling, I understand. I too have attempted, at times, to rail against the Sisters of Fate, to return to my old ways, to pluck the Eye of vengeance from the Tree of Life. But life is far, far too short to allow such momentary delights to turn thee into the same word which Ali ruthlessly denoted upon our very own Bellum a mere hop-skip-and-a-jump earlier!

    In closing, I fear greatly for you. Kleptomaniacal urges have befallen your master as well, as the allure of the Liquid Devil has beckoned her to thievery and glove-box-hidings times innumerable! But let her not be a negative influence–rather, you will be a positive influence! Teach her that one may have an enjoyable life with one’s pants on! Teach her that Mornings, rather than Crack, give you energy, and that the drop of alcohol has never once soiled thy puggish liver! Teach her to wink at life’s great trials like a man who slaps the behind of a flight-stewardess.

    You, my dear, are the mentor; and your piratey experience is worth more gold than all the bullion you have ever thieved; more than all the rapings and pillagings combined! Cherish it.

    Trollpop Janglestein

  • Ditto WTF?

    Good God!!!

    That person is well …err…

  • Your dog is so freaking cute! Ya gotta love having a pet for a kid. They are the best type of kids! Great to meet you BTW. Sorry I had to bail early.

  • Daisy looks too frickin cute.. and innocent! I think she didn’t see your phone because it was by her bad eye. And as for blackberries.. well they are had to manage with pug paws.

    I think Daisy rescued your phone! Yeah, that’s it.. and deserves the tastiest of doggie biscuits ever!

    ha ha ha ha ha!

  • Praytell, beaches, how have I offended thee? If I have uttered a word of nonsense, let the Good Gods strike me dead! Such painful phrases such as “Ditto WTF?” resonate in my soul like an E-flat played in the key of C–harsh, shocking, and dissonant.

    NUTS, you say? Sticks and nuts may brake my guts, but the words of a fool may never hurt me!


  • My dog flips when I’m on my cell. Hates the noise it makes when I get a text. Gets jealous if I’m paying attention to IT and not her. So yeah, nothing surprises me. Except I think if my dog took my phone she’d go bury it somewhere and I’d never see it again.

  • Wtf is up with trollpop? Haha

    I love my blackberry now I’m coveting your 3g!

  • Daisy is such a sweetheart. At least she didn’t chew it up like my bad dogs probably would have done!
    Trollop Janglestein you are good-I love your witty way with words.

  • ShellyD, your gracious complement has not gone unnoticed in this neck of the woods :-D

  • Re: tweet about 3G dropping calls.

    Welcome to the iPhone 3G world of unreliable service in an incredible cool package.

    Jobs & Cie. fucked this one up bad.

  • Too cute!What a good dog! She was just making sure nothing bad happened to it.

  • Aww…it’s so hard to find tech savvy dogs now a days!

  • Maybe she’s thinking you won’t leave without your phone so if you can’t find your phone, you can’t leave. She’s just showin’ her affection.

  • Have I bitched lately that my husband includes iphones in things cute and apple that will probably never be purchased in our household?


    At least I have an ipod, so I am not totally excluded from all things Apple.

    Maybe I should just marry Daisy.

  • Hey hey there sister. I don’t care WHO you are, but I have had dibs on Daisy since DAY ONE >:-O

  • My dogs (well, probably only one, but they aren’t telling which) ATE my phone, necessitating borrowing a phone from my dad because I cancelled the insurance on said original phone only last month. Stingy puppies! They hate every ringer I’ve ever tried.

  • Trollpop, Daisy is mine all mine. No calling dibs on my doggy!

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