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Breaking up for Hillary

Sarah: “Are you avoiding my calls because you don’t want to hear me lecture you in the importance of voting today?”

Ben: “No. I already listened to your messages.”

Sarah: “Good. Go vote. Also, you should know I emailed your girlfriend today and broke up with her.”

Ben: “What?! Why?”

Sarah: “Her Obama shirt… I told her she had a vagina and should use it to vote.”

Ben: “Oh man…”

Sarah: “Don’t be mad. She’s the one that said she was torn between Hillary and Obama. She had to either vote for her vagina, or vote for her ‘brown’ vagina.”

Ben: “SARAH!! I really didn’t need to hear that the girl I’m dating and my sister are discussing vagina together. I’m never letting you meet anyone again. I mean it.”


  • ha ha you broke up with his girlfriend for him.

  • “what can brown do for you, baby!!”


  • anon: No, I broke up with her for me. Luckily she’s cool and can easily woo me with chocolate and beauty products.

    that one guy: Lots.

  • Yes, we should all definitely “vote for our vaginas.” I did. Alas, you’re the only other person I know [or read about considering I don't even know you, really] that admittedly voted for Hillary. Sad for me that I come from a family of “We’re Mormon so we must vote for Mitt” people. Maybe I need to get out more. Go Hillary!

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