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Bring Vodka

“Mom, who is on the phone?”

“Ben. He’s leaving Salt Lake to drive down here.”

“Ohhh, tell him to bring vodka.”

She, of course, didn’t. When she hung up the phone I asked, “So now I don’t have vodka or coffee? How am I supposed to survive?”

“There’s coffee. I bought some for you. It’s in the freezer.”

“Thanks. Did you buy a coffee maker too?”

“Oh, no. Did you need that?”

Instead of trying to explain the complexities of making coffee we drove to the grocery store and purchased a box of coffee singles.

That’s right, nothing says I love you like Western Family brand.

Comments

  • I’m starting to wonder if our moms aren’t the same person. Did you have to drive all the way to town for that? Next time, pop in over to my bro’s cabin, he has a coffee maker AND booze.

  • Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.

    PS – if you’re like me, you NEVER leave home without a little something in your luggage. Just saying.

  • I can recommend the Nestle instant coffee. It’s what I used to drink in Germany in my flat, and it was pretty good! The American version is practically the same.

  • That is the saddest picture I have ever seen, and unfortunately it probably tastes like it looks… :O(
    Sra, my dad always brings a jar of the Nestle instant coffee with him when he comes to visit us for a month. He swears by it! And rations it so he does not run out.

  • Remind me to show you how to make cowboy coffee, Sarah. It would be very appropriate for the wilderness you call home.

  • Oh and I could also show you how to make bathtub gin, which is an important skill to learn.

  • my mormon mother would NEVER buy me coffee. Your mom sounds so progressive.

  • Singles for a single. Instant karma.

  • I take a plastic coffee press with me whenever I go camping, or venture out into any territory where I know I’m not likely to find any good coffee. All it requires is a ziploc bag full of ground coffee and a pot of boiling water. I swear, it has saved my sanity more times than I can remember. I’ll see if I can find one for you.

  • Hey Sar-Sar. I just saw you at Anthropology. You’re even more beautiful in person.

    You inspired me to buy the bath mat I was looking at.

    Keep it up, superstar.

  • Which is why I keep airplane liquor bottles in my garter strap.

  • Then did your mother cry about how you’re a total hedonistic, lesbian whore? I would have.

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