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Charlie and the Tiny Boob Factory

Show me a woman who doesn’t have insecurities about her body and I’ll show you a fucking liar. We all have things we hate: our noses, thighs, cheekbones, hair, et cetera.

I’ve always been extremely self-conscious about my chest, or lack thereof. I can still hear the taunting from boys in junior high school.

“Sarah’s a carpenter’s dream…she’s flat as a board and she’s never been screwed.”

I hated those little prick bastards. I cried myself to sleep many a nights in those days.

I never got over it. And my chest never got any bigger. I still have the chest size of a pre-teen. I hate it. Nothing ever fits right.

It’s so hard to shop when you have a regular sized body with the chest size of a 10-year-old. Yesterday I finally took in a pile of sundresses that need to be tailored into my favorite tailor Mr. Charlie. He’s the most adorable elderly Chinese man.

As I tried the dresses on for him I could see the frustration on his face. “Why you have such little teeny boobies?”

I muttered, “Because God hates me, that’s why.”

“Tsk, tsk.” He shook his head at me. “Nothing fits you right.”

I handled the situation like the adult I am, and not the child my chest size might suggest. I held my tongue and didn’t run off in tears. Instead I looked at him and said, “We’ve all got body issues, but at least I have pretty hair.”

“Oh, yes. Such pretty hair, “ he replied.

We finished up and I left the shop with my head held high, because it draws attention to my kick ass hair and not my teeny boobies.


  • Ah well. Then there’s the other end of the spectrum. Try dressing borderline 32DD/32DDDs. That sucks.

  • My boobies just had their 6th birthday in April this year. Get them done, Sarah! You won’t regret it! :)

  • You do have pretty hair! Don’t worry about people that say mean things. They just want to make themselves feel better.

  • yeah, better small than big. mine aren’t huge, which i was bummed about in high school, but now that i see what happens to aging boobs i’m pretty darn happy with what i have

  • OK…we’ll get this out of the way…I lurk and I’ve lurked your blog for a while… the reason I decided today was the day to finally comment is this post hit a nerve.

    My god given name is Treasure and I was the first to get my boobs in 4th grade and they weren’t small. The kids called me Treasure Chest and I cried myself to sleep. They laughed because I had boobs and the Kindergarteners thought I was a teacher.

    I couldn’t wait to have them cut off and finally did it 8 years ago! (5 lbs. off of each side I might add) I begged the surgeon to make my chest concave but he refused.

    Us girls are never happy with what we have. If I would have went in to Charlie, he would have said “Row! Why your boobies so rarge! Nuffing fit you right!” Men!

  • Oops… Sorry, didn’t mean to intrude. I just saw the word boobies and got all excited for a second.

    Carry on ladies.

  • I was just thinking about this the other day. I have child-bearing hips that I actually like, but disproportionately small boobs. I fall within the normal weight range, but I am on the high end. When I lose weight my boobs are the first to go. So I always feel fat or flat. Sorry I don’t have any advice or encouraging words, but I figure that it never hurts to hear from another IBT Commitee member.

  • Hey Sarah, it may sound like a load of crap, but believe me – not every guy is into a woman with a huge chest. And no, it ain’t some freakish fetish…it’s just that sometimes enough is enough. If it’s natural, and it’s you – that enough. You rock, and you really are a very beautiful person outside and in. Keep on keepin on!

  • I actually think smaller boobs are more attractive, and there are plenty of guys who think so too. I also was a small chested person and never minded. I was satisfied with what I had. When I shacked up with Ian, he claimed my boobs would grow. All his ladies have become larger after being with him, he said. The damn fucker was right. Maybe it’s a hormonal thing.

  • Here’s a link I found in another blogger’s comments. It’s technically NSFW because it has candid photos of breasts that women were born with. Some of them are happy, some of them are not but it’s a real eye opener. It made me much happier with what I have. (hopefully the link still works)


  • More than a handful is a waste. That’s my personal opinion.

  • you do have beautiful hair that is for sure.

  • Ha Ha! I love it! Believe it or not, I completely understand. Only it wasn’t so much the kids at school as it was my mother, aunt and cousins.
    “Summer, why don’t you itch your mosquito bites and maybe they will grow?”
    Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but even family can be brutal at times!

  • tiny boobs are hot. ‘specially in a tank top with no bra. At least you have a proportionally tiny ass. I am built like Lobela up there. My ass needs it’s own time zone. I’d rather be shaped like a board then a pear.

  • On the other hand, it sucks having 14D boobs that don’t fit into anything pretty, but don’t actually look big at all.

  • As Sarah said women have issues and it doesn’t matter what anyone else says. Just like some of the other male commenters have stated. Big boobs are not what turns my head. ;)

  • I will give you half of my boobs for an ounce of your body. As many have said, big boobs aren’t easy and make it very hard to run.

    So there!

  • I think your boobs ended up in my nose.

  • Another guy’s $.02; please don’t join the silicone club Sarah! I’d rather be with small and natural than big and fake any day.

  • Girl, belive me you are not missing out on anything!! Trust me it sucks to be a size 6 in the waist and a 12 on the chest and have guys think you a stripper because of the huge boobs in a tinny body.

  • 3rd period science class, 7th grade “Kristi is that a new shirt, it is so FLATering on you” from the oh so cute boy I had a huge crush on..in front of the entire class! High School – President of the Itty bitty titty committe – thanks mens varsity water polo team. I’m 26 now, and totally ok with my size, yes very small, but still there are many looks we can rock that huge boobs probably couldn’t!

  • Isn’t it awful how the stupid, ridiculous comments said to us by nobodies in school stay with us for so long? I remember a chubby boy in 6th grade saying to me in front of half the class, “Hey Shannon, want to hear a joke that will make your tits fall off? Oh, I see you’ve already heard it.” I went home and cried all afternoon. At the time, it didn’t matter that I was 11 years old and wasn’t supposed to have boobs yet. Jimmy, I hope you’re still fat, living with your mom, and working at Wal-Mart.

  • I hate my tiny boobies. :( Thankfully my husband agreed that after we have babies, we will get me big, fun boobs. :)

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