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Confession Time

Today at lunch I came home, ate a turkey sandwich and finished a book Tori Spelling wrote.  That’s not my confession.  My confession is that I cried at the end.  TEARS OVER A FUCKING TORI SPELLING BOOK!  I need a life ASAP.

I dare you to one-up my tears.  Go ahead, do it.  I need a laugh.  Well what are you waiting for?

Comments

  • It’s not a tears-related story, but I thought of you when I did it.

    Brandon and I were biking a couple of weeks ago and he always asks me to go first mostly, I think, just so he can pass me. Well, I got tired of that and told him if he wanted me to go first I would BUT he couldn’t pass me.

    Sure enough after a couple of minutes I could see him out of the corner of my eye so I yelled at the top of my lungs “Baby don’t!!!” Yeah, it was another biker and Brandon was just close enough to hear the whole thing so he got to laugh and laugh.

  • There for awhile I refused to get cable because I knew my ass would turn into the shape of my couch if I did. So on Sundays, for at least a month, some local channel here in Tulsa decided to play Homeward Bound. And you know who sat on her sofa and cried every weekend over this movie? ME. Even though I knew what was going to happen because I had watched it the weekend before.

    I finally got cable, and now Animal Planet has my sole attention.

  • Today, as you well have read from Twitter, I finally completed the ambitious project of creating a lifelike replica of yourself out of Nickelodian Gak. This was a few hours ago, and naturally, I was very pleased with my creation.

    Now, but a mere 15 minutes ago, I met my father for our weekly shower. While his eyes often drift towards my rather enviable member, this night I saw in those eyes a noted confusion. Upon questioning, he replied “Janglestein, I fear you have been plagued by a genital fungus, the likes of which I have never seen! In what foul woman’s mossy cave have you been exploring?” I looked down and saw, to my horror, the Gak had tainted my skin a sickly green. Oh how did my grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews point and laugh. Swiftly, did I vacate the shower and retreat home, member tucked between my legs like a green, hairless chihuahua his wrinkled tail.

  • I will be the first to admit (well the second after you) that I fucking loved Tori Spelling’s book!! It’s honestly such a heartwarming story of her life – especially at the end. If she can find true love & happiness, heck we all can!!

  • Okay, I tend to have a bit of an anxious/paranoid personality naturally, but, the other night I was a bit stoned, and I’m sure you know that it adds to paranoia. Anyway, my boyfriend did this bizarre sounding fart, and I started freaking out, I was like “omg! did you hear that? I think something inside me just popped?” (referring to an organ or something) Haha, I laughed till I cried when I realised what had actually happened.

  • Shit girl, I got nothing for you on this one. I always cry when everybody else does; pinnacle moments in love stories, heroic moments in sports and cute kitty cat and puppy dog pictures! I’m a softie.

  • I cry at insurance commercials on the radio.
    Only when I’m PMS-ing, but still.
    Its bad.

  • I cry almost as easily as I laugh. The worst is probably the scene in Home Alone where Macaulay Culkin comes down the stairs and his family isn’t home…and that’s all he asked Santa for…and there’s this long, sad moment, and then Catherine O’Hara comes through the door. Gets me every time. Because I am, in fact, the world’s biggest dork.

  • Was she talking about how Brenda was coming back in the new 90210 and she wasn’t? That would have made me cry too…

  • I cried during 40-year-old virgin. aiden likes to bring this up, usually after i am trying to tell someone about how i’ll cry at anything. he nods and says, “yup, she cried during the 40-year-old virgin.” yes ma’am.

    i also ALWAYS cry at that circulated email about how dogs don’t have to live as long as humans because they already know how to be nice and love one another… there’s me talking about dogs dying again. i’m awesome.

  • I cried this afternoon in the middle of a public sidewalk because I had to tell my son for the millionth time that we DO NOT pull our pants down in public, especially not in front of his sister’s private Catholic school. Personally, I like to wait until I’m under the influence of pretty liquid concoctions before i take my pants off in public but maybe that’s just me.

  • oh my gosh. trollpop just gave me the heebie jeebies. and that doesn’t happen very easily. that was just gross.

  • My ex boyfriend cried during Lilo and stitch.. you know, the disney movie?

    Oh dear.. it was so funny, when we were together i would never ever let him live that down

  • I was at class Monday night and my friend Joe was telling me about how he wanted a cherry Pepsi but the machine gave him a Dr. Pepper. I actually started to cry. I quickly explained that I am not crazy, I’m just pregnant. Oh, and the State Farm commercial with the baby makes me cry every damn time.

  • I cry at that Disney commercial that’s currently airing – the “we all have something to celebrate” one with the mickey-shaped balloons following people around.

    Sounds creepy, but it’s full of little milestones like mom measuring a kid against the wall, kindergarten graduation, weddings, and this weensy little ballerina. She’s twirling in that awkward little-kid way and the balloon is dancing next to her.

    Tears. Seriously.

  • i cried after seeing a hallmark commercial…this old lady was living alone with no one that ever stopped by as the season went by. the next door neighbor noticed so she got he a card to say hello and it made the old ladies day…i was in TEARS.

  • I can’t top that today.
    Which is so fucking odd
    because I’m the biggest crier ever!

    Sorry.

    Thinking though that I might have to check out that book now.

  • Dude. I cried during episodes of Felicity. Like ALL THE TIME.

  • I cried over a book that Terri Hatcher wrote… which is worse?? I haven’t read Tori’s book yet, but I most definitely will.

  • I cried during an episode of Baywatch where David Hasselhoff’s girlfriend was dying of cancer.

  • i very rarely cry. i have a hard exterior. on the rare instance that i do cry, i tend to cry alone.

    however, it never fails… i cry during every fuckin’ episode of “Made” on MTV. i guess i am just so happy for the losers when they win homecoming queen.

  • Well, I’m glad to know I’m not the only weirdo that cries over commercials and cheesy movies!

  • I cry at everything, really. I cried on the train the other day because I saw a sad little family. But I think the most pathetic recent sobfest was just the other day when I watched the latest episode of Mad Men. I cried when the guy who peed his pants got fired. Especially when he said “How am I going to tell my wife?” Serious blubbering, people.

  • I totally cried at the end of her book too…

  • I cried listening to Bill Clinton’s book on CD. When he was talking about cheating on Hillary. I mean, I have a deep love for Bill Clinton but COME ON. I should have expected it – I cry at commercials.

  • I cry when Heidi annouces the winner of the challenge on PR. I pretty much cry whenever I hear/read/see someone reach their goals. Because I am proud that they did it. Even if I only know them through reading their blog. So you can count on me crying when you tell us you are graduating from college.

  • i cried everytime the morgan freeman commercial came on during the Olympics about the father and son finishing last together…it gets me everytime… i’m a weeper!

  • I broke both my ankles at an Alan Jackson concert (and I sobbed cuz sista, it HURT!) And no I wasn’t drunk. I was the designated driver and then had to find sober drivers to get all my passengers home safely. THEN I had to have a guy I barely knew (who went with us as a friend) DRIVE my 5 speed car home with me as a passenger. The people at the hospital wanted to cut my pants off and wanted me to ride home with said guy with NO PANTS ON! Did I mention I barely knew him?

    Go ahead, laugh. It’s funny now…some 12 years after the fact. I never hear an Alan Jackson song that doesn’t make my ankles hurt!

    Jules

  • I know!

    I cried last night watching Biggest Loser.

    Now THAT is pathetic!

  • I was holding back the tears listening to Frank Deford talk about Paul Newman this morning on NPR.

  • I cry every time when they move the bus on “Extreme Home Makeover”

  • I bawled at the cheesiest movie of all time. Night at Rodanthe.

    I also was hysterical when Mr. Rogers died.

    Was this the book Stori Telling? LOL!

  • Someone should tell Trolldoll that this Gak is really chlamydia.

    …rock me sexy chlamydia.

  • I cry anytime I watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

    I cry everytime I watch Homeward Bound, at the end where the old dog comes running up to Peter because he was worried about him.

    I can’t watch the scene in the Lion Kind where Mufasa dies because it’s so disturbing. The first time I watched it in the theater I tried not to cry so I wouldn’t scare the five year old I brought. The second time I watched it at home and cried so hard I had to stop the movie and get my shit together.

    I sobbed when I read Where The Red Fern Grows – for the third time.

  • One up? Oh, I can one up.

    Last year around this time, I was hanging out with my Summer Fling, who I was no longer dating. No longer dating, because his ex-gf had reappeared on the scene, proclaiming her undying love and insisting that she was now ready to get married and bear his children. So he turned around and asked me if *I* wanted to get married and have his children. UM, buddy? It’s been 3 months. I really like you, but you can NOT be asking me that right now. And if there’s any kind of decision to be made here? Between me and your crazy ex? Well, I’m taking myself out of the running. But we still hung out a little. While he “figured things out.”

    So then, the day before my birthday I got a cell phone from my parents and texted him (he was always very texty) a “hey, look! I have a cell phone!” to which he replied “we need to talk.” “Did you get back together with your ex?” “Something like that” “Don’t ever call me again.”

    He didn’t just get back together with her… He got her pregnant. I’m pretty sure it was intentional on her part.

    Anyway, fast forward a year later… It’s my birthday again (today) and lo and behold, messages from him! (I haven’t seen or heard from him in a year, though I’ve seen pictures of the baby on facebook.) “You were right all along. I really messed up. I wish I could change things, but there’s nothing I can do now. I wish I was with you still. Trust me, I know it’s my loss.”

    Happy Birthday, Me! ;)

  • I almost cry everytime I see Luke and Lorelai kiss for the first time.

    I did cry watching the Gilmore Girls season finale…for many, many reasons.

    (Came out of lurkerdom to confess…going back into my hole now)

  • Selfishly, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one crying around these parts.

  • Since I’ve had a baby I pretty much cry at anything baby-related, including the word “baby”. *tears up*
    Hormones are the suck.

  • I was a virgin until I was 23; I was saving myself for the right girl – not for marriage or any of that BS, just the right girl. Then on January 1st of 2000, my girlfriend and I both lost our virginity. While it was wonderful, I cry a little bit inside when I think of all the previous missed opportunities to have sex, and at how I messed that relationship up.

  • I bought that book and wouldn’t touch it until it was time for me to go to the hospital to have my son (okay, I cheated and read three chapters) – BUT it was a terrific book and she has another one coming out in the Spring of 2009. It’s called Mommywood and I’m stoked about it. Yay.

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