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Dating Chocolate Cake

I think I may have inadvertently confused people last week by my relationships are a motherfucker post.

When I wrote the most significant relationship of my life, I was not referring to Non-Troll Doll. He and I have been dating almost two months. That is not enough time to make a significant relationship. Hell, we can barely tolerate one another yet.

I’m difficult to date. That’s no surprise, but he’s no piece of cake either. Though if he were a piece of cake he’s be chocolate, which is my favorite. Oh and he’d probably have raspberries on the side. Oh my god, NTD is the tastiest piece of cake ever.

I digress, but cake people, CAKE!

NTD is an amazing guy, he really is. He makes me smile, even when I’m pissed.  Plus he tolerates me, and he’s dreamy. Don’t believe me? Ask Bishop Deal. There’s one small thing though: he’s impossible. Seriously, impossible. He claims he’s a relationship person, but frankly I haven’t seen anything that would back up his claim. He doesn’t include me in his life.  It’s sort of weird, and a total red flag. For example, he never invites me to parties he attends, and for some reason that really bothers me. Not that I would go, but still an invite is always nice.

He says he really likes me, but frankly it doesn’t feel that way.  Which certainly doesn’t make me want to invest any real emotion. I think I’m officially in a dating rut. But truthfully there’s no one I’d rather be in a rut with right now than him, which makes it even worse.


  • awww…sarah. i love this. love the honesty and freshness of it. seriously.

  • Ooo honey, you’ll figure it out. The posts you’ve written about him show there’s something there. Maybe there’s a reason for his actions, ask him about it. It’s often better to know what you’re up against.

    He’s be a moron to not adore you. You’re beautiful and as clever as they come. Listen to me here and sit down and tell him how you feel. You’ll be sorry if you don’t and it slips away.

  • Oh honey honey honey cakes, fret not :-( I entreat thee to leave this delicious cake-filled rut, climb the raspberry-soaked ladders, and soar like the merry beagles of old!

    Perhaps, my dear chicken-shit friend, a little Troll is just what the doctor ordered! Just one spoonful; it goes down easy as bacon grease ;-)

  • Sarah, you are bright, beautiful and talented. If NTD isn’t the one, surely The One will soon enough. Oh now I just sound like your Mom. Until then, enjoy your chocolatey treat!

  • Baby I’m first in line when it goes sour. I’ll invite you everywhere I go.

  • He is VERY dreamy (and he has a sweet bike. Even though I am scared of them).

    The non-inclusion is a bit weird after 2 months. Hmm…I hope that isn’t a red flag that has merit.

    If it is, at least he is totally hot. There is always that.

  • To Aaron:

    While I understand your pangs of desire for Mr. Nielson, I must plead with you not to claim the spot “first in line.” As I have evidenced from many different sources, I have clearly claimed that prominent position. And by my estimates, Scott is also ahead in line. I will grant you third place. Deny my gesture and I will immediately vacate you from the blog herein! >:-O

    Yours Every So Gently
    Trollpop Janglestein

  • It’s true, he’s dreamy.

    Though I do wish I’d had more time to snuggle and spoon with him after lunch.

  • Laughing at your comment. Chocolate cake can actually be good for you….as long as you exercise everyday.

  • You know, it’s hard to say. I’ve been married twice and from day one with each we’ve been attached at the hip.

    Marriage 1 = disaster

    Marriage 2 = happy 14 years in

    It’s hard to say, but whatever happens, I hope you are happy.

  • Um….he sounds like YOU!

  • See, this is where I would totally interject with some good old passive aggressive metaphors…but I sucked at dating as well, so I guess my advice is useless:)

    I love red velvet, with thick butter cream icing.

  • Amen to cake.

    Relationships take work, it’s true, but a relationship that takes an awful lot of work usually isn’t worth the trouble. It’s not like there aren’t plenty of other perfectly edible fish in the dating pool. Just for argument’s sake — not judging your relationship situation.

  • I still think RLO’s the one for you…..

  • Maybe you send up red flags that…



    ha ha ha ha!

  • When he says he’s a relationship person, maybe he means he takes things seriously.

    If a guy brings a new girl too often, people think he has bad luck in love or he’s a player. Maybe he wants to make sure your relationship is serious before bringing you. So nobody thinks he’s a player — or you’re a bimbo. Two months is really not serious yet. And you have admitted to teasing him mercilessly, which may make him think that YOU don’t think it’s long term and thus not serious.

    Are you inviting him to your family get togethers? Family parties are more serious than parties with friends, but maybe he is the kind of guy for whom his friends are his family.

    One thing I will share that has helped my love life TONS: Ask for what you want, no matter what it is, and be willing to take no for an answer. This strategy works especially well on the topic of how much to include each other. He may be under-including you just because he is an independent person. Be sure to ask him to spend time with you. It makes life NOT like a romance novel, but a man like that is, in my opinion, 12times better than the guy that wants to be with you every single minute, to where you can’t even go to the bathroom without him asking why you were in there longer than usual.

  • I learned from a personal and painful experience that a lady does not want, nor does she deserve, to be in a relationship of “habit” or “convenience”. Ask yourself that when dating, and never “settle” on a relationship. Be willing to wait for exactly who you want. Life is short and so much better when you are with the one. Now, nobody’s perfect…but there is a “one”.
    The greatest advice I ever received from my mother was to always ask yourself “Why would you want to be with a man, who doesn’t want to be with you?”

  • Kelly said: “If a guy brings a new girl too often, people think he has bad luck in love or he’s a player. Maybe he wants to make sure your relationship is serious before bringing you. So nobody thinks he’s a player — or you’re a bimbo.”

    Say whaaat? I guess I don’t see the world like this.

    And Kelli, why would you say something so mean? “Chocolate cake can actually be good for you….as long as you exercise everyday.”


  • Lots of information to digest. I’ll need some time to think about this.

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