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Dating failure is not an option. It's expected.

Dating men with kids is something I avoid. It’s not that I dislike kids, quite the opposite really. If the kid is clean I get attached relatively easily. Unless, of course, the kid wets the bed. I hate the smell of kid piss almost as much as cat piss.

Ew times ew.

Years ago I dated a man with two daughters and it almost killed me to walk away from them, but I had to. Their dad was a total douche. Somewhere out there, there’s still a pet goldfish in a freezer waiting for me to sew a burial dress, and I don’t even sew. I’m a horrible person, certainly, but at least I didn’t freeze a dead goldfish. Seriously… WHAT. A. DOUCHE.

After that relationship I swore off men with kids. It’s just too hard. I stuck by that rule until recently.

I’m 34-years-old and I live in Utah. It’s next to impossible to find someone without kids. In fact I think I’m the only person in the entire state that doesn’t have children. So I finally gave up and accepted the possibility of dating a family. GOD that sounds sooooo “Big Love.” For the record I am not into polygamy. Yet.

And then it happened.

I met someone great, and he has two medium sized girls. Shut-up, I’m not good with ages.

Or follow through, apparently.

I found this waiting for me at his house after I met the girls briefly:

Dating with Children

Adorable right?

One issue… see that little part where it says to write back? I saw it. And then promptly forgot to write back. I’ve only just met them and I’m already failing. Maybe I should have a rule that I only date men who have pugs. That’s where I would shine.

Comments

  • Awwwww! I LOVE this post!

  • re: chalkboard – details my friend. details. ;)

    kids are great. but man, it throws such a weird dynamic into the whole dating process. it’s like you’re dating 3 people instead of just one. so if you break up, you’re breaking up times 3.

  • With the things Daisy tweets about her human, I don’t know if you would shine…

    :p

  • Man, I wish someone had sewn a burial dress for that gerbil I kept in the freezer for almost a year.

    9. I was 9. Promise. My mother was THRILLED when she found out.

    Men with pugs are worse than men with children. Unless you really really like theme calendars.

  • Hey, I don’t have kids. Yet. And congrats on the new guy. I hope the 4 of you will be very happy together.

  • Hmmm, I have a pug, and no kids… Just saying, lol… I’m cute, too!

  • As one of those single guys who has kids, I can say this: It sucks. There is such a double standard in that dept. It’s more socially acceptable for the woman to have kids live with them, but not the other way around.

    So good for you on taking a chance.

  • AWWWWWWW! I’m really excited for you!!! So cute.

  • Hey, they didn’t specify “when” to write back right?

    You still got time!

    And as a recently-made-single girl with no kids in Utah, I have decided that you are my role model. Who else can teach me about Jesus and pink scooters?

  • Well for starters pugs are less passive aggressive. I mean, if they want something they will just annoy you to death until you do it, so there is no chance of forgetting.

    Just sayin. ;)

  • I can understand why you’d want to avoid dating men with children. My ex fiance had a daughter, and it was a nightmare. She was a very sweet little girl, but she would try to test me. I couldn’t punish her, because I felt it wasn’t my place, as she lived alternately with him and her mother. It didn’t help that I was 20, stupid, and very immature, and like your ex, this guy was a douch; a very very big douch. I hope this one works out for you though.

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