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I grow my own weed!

My little apartment has a balcony that I rarely use. I don’t grill food or own patio furniture. The area sits empty except for a stray dog bone and a formerly empty cheap, plastic planter. I grew weeds in the planter all by myself. I’m basically a gardener at this point.

I was on the phone with a friend when I saw the weeds and in my excitement said, “I grew my own weed.” My friend was silent for a moment and then asked, “I didn’t know you smoked weed, and aren’t you worried about getting arrested?”

The gardening excitement faded as I realized the misunderstanding. I quickly corrected the mistake and assured her that I don’t smoke weed and that my incredibly skilled green thumb was not going to be carted off to jail. Thank god, because I think she was about to ask if she could have custody of my shoes while I served time.

The mix-up was extra comical to me because my mom once requested that I buy her pot for Christmas. She meant a kitchen pot, but having your Mormon mother ask you for pot is one of those memories I’ll always cherish.

Mom, if you’re reading, this weed’s for you:



  • You completely tricked me with this title, caused unnecessary excitement and shaking.

    You are dead to me.

  • It looks like the one in the back is about to flower! You should have your own gardening show.

  • I think if it’s in a planter, no matter what it actually is, it’s considered a real plant and not a weed. That’d be my rule anyway. I’m currently cultivating a lovely batch of dandelions.

  • What do you mean that those are weeds. They look better than some of my flowers this year.

  • You should try smoking that weed…see what happens.

  • beautiful! what a green thumb you have. i agree with lincoln though. try smoking it and see what happens.

  • I got excited as well!

  • So, my boyfriend and I broke up. And when I get home from the ordeal, what’s sitting on my doorstep? The vibrator I won from your giveaway. Isn’t that just the weirdest coincidence? How did the universe know?? I thought it was very fitting in the theme of your blog.

  • un wow thats whats poppin im in the prosses of plantin now i got bags full of seeds. i mean lets not let them go to waist

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