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I want to be reincarnated as myself, but with more money, a bigger rack and skinny thighs.

The nerds were talking about reincarnation yesterday. It wasn’t as spiritual as you might think. They use reincarnation as an excuse to talk about what animals they would like to be.

There were a lot of wolf, tiger and ninja requests.

Go figure.

I know ninjas aren’t animals, but you try telling that to a passionate nerd who collects medieval weapons. I really don’t want a Chinese throwing star lodged into my head.

One nerd is unlike all the others. He’s some sort of nerd hybrid who doesn’t believe in playing hypothetical reincarnation games.


“Sarah, I don’t want to be reincarnated. After 80 years of life I’ll be done.”

“But what would you do in heaven?”

“Relax, listen to music and stuff.”

“I don’t think that’s how heaven works. I’m pretty sure you have some sort of job, like answering prayers for people.”

“Fine. I’ll be a soldier and fight Satan with a big, glowing sword.”

I should have paid closer attention to church as a kid. I had no idea the Bible was written by George Lucas.


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