I’m feeling a little happier and I credit you people. Seriously. Reading your comments made me feel so much better, even if you bitches didn’t offer to trade place with me. And guess what? I read your suggestions and went to see a doctor.
It was there I learned that there’s a clinical condition for my sucky life. It’s called a heat rash. The doctor told me he has never seen one as horrible as mine in an adult. Awesome.
Wanna see my rash? Of course you don’t. Gross. Well too fucking bad!
As the doctor wrote a prescription out for steroid cream he stressed how little cream I needed to rub into my awesome hotness. So you’ll understand when my surprise when the pharmacist handed me this one pound bad boy:
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go get naked, cover myself in stinky cream and drown my heat/life induced sorrows in a giant bottle of wine. I’ve never felt sexier.