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I'm Too Sexy for my Rash

I’m feeling a little happier and I credit you people. Seriously. Reading your comments made me feel so much better, even if you bitches didn’t offer to trade place with me. And guess what? I read your suggestions and went to see a doctor.

It was there I learned that there’s a clinical condition for my sucky life. It’s called a heat rash. The doctor told me he has never seen one as horrible as mine in an adult. Awesome.

Wanna see my rash?  Of course you don’t.  Gross.  Well too fucking bad!

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As the doctor wrote a prescription out for steroid cream he stressed how little cream I needed to rub into my awesome hotness. So you’ll understand when my surprise when the pharmacist handed me this one pound bad boy:

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Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go get naked, cover myself in stinky cream and drown my heat/life induced sorrows in a giant bottle of wine. I’ve never felt sexier.

Comments

  • Heat rash is the worst! Hope the cream (and the wine) helps!

  • Think of it this way your doctor will never forget you or your heat rash.

    The next time some adult comes into his office thinking their heat rash is the shiznit. He’s say “HA, that isn’t shit! I’ve see heat rashes worse than that! Her name was Sarah and she was seXXy!! Now get out of my office, I have to help people with REAL problems”

    AND SCENE

    Feel better?

  • A heat rash and you don’t have air conditioning? So this is a seasonal affliction for you? Do you need somewhere to escape to? I’m in Northern California and would offer you my guest room anytime.

  • Girl you need air conditioning! That rash looks horrible & uncomfortable. Seriously…you need to either meet someone w/air conditioning or go spend the nights w/a friend.

  • Ya know, if you did have A/C you might be more compelled to bitch about the cost of energy bills… I find there is always something unfair about comfort.
    :)

    P.S. – Put a bowl of ice in front of your fan.

  • Do you need an A/C unit? My apartment doesn’t have central air, just a lousy air conditioning unit in the living room that hardly cools five feet in front of it. So to survive, we bought a window unit for our bedroom, and in the summer it’s the only bearable room in the house. I can also recommend having a shower and then air drying — very refreshing.

    I once had a rash from a fungal infection (sure you’re glad to know that) and they gave me two whole tubes of anti fungal cream, when all I had to do was rub a thin layer on the really small rash for a few days. The bonus is now I have tons of the cream without need of getting another prescription, in case I need it again. And you just never know when you might get a fungus.

  • don’t use the steroids – I wanna see it @ lunch Thurs.

  • Its nice to know that someone besides myself gets heat rash. I get embarassed when i get it, which makes it worse. I get it all over my chest, arms and legs and i have even gotten it on my face before. Mine gets really red but it usually goes away pretty quickly.
    Good luck and poor some wine for me too!!!!!!!!!!11

  • OOH!! I used to have a tub of that cream! It’s good for EVERYTHING, anything that itches ever again, you’ll be covered!

  • Isn’t it amazing what friends and drugs can do for your spirit?

  • That’s the exact same cream my doc gives me.

    Awesome! Cuz I know it will work for you!

  • No wonder you have been miserable-that rash looks horrible. Thank god for pharmaceuticals (and alcohol duh)! Hope you are able to get some relief from the heat, I see Salt Lake has been warm lately. We were there 2 weeks ago and it was 50!!

  • Ick. :p That sucks! Speedy healing to you!

  • Look on the bright side. Better a heat rash, then…some other itching problem.

  • let me borrow the cream in the winter for eczema.

  • What happens if you pour the wine on the rash?

  • Answering Laura’s question above.. sorta…

    I think if you have the wine on ice or it’s really chilled – then pour it on the bumps – the coolness makes them get smaller and decreases itching – and the wine/alcohol just makes them very happy.

    Which makes me wonder.. if your itchy bumps are happy would they really want to go away?

  • No scissoring for you until that rash clears up.

  • sorry about the heatrash–it looks itchy. but luckily it isn’t something fungal. and you must be having some sort of heat to get it–which actually in a sick way makes me jealous since i’m living in siberia.

    hope that big tub o’ cream works fast for you!

  • i got heat rash one summer when i ws working as an outdoor lifeguard. I had to wear ling sleeved and long-legged cotton pajamas and a big hat to try to keep the sun off me, and every time the sun hit me it burned! It was waaay sexy, I’m telling you,

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