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In Search of a Man with Comfy Undies

I’m the type of person that loves a routine. Every day when I get home I immediately ditch whatever I’m wearing and put on a white tank top and a pair of comfortable boxers that were left at my house years ago by an old boyfriend.

I’m like the white trash Mr. Rogers, but with a vagina.

Lately there’s a problem with this routine: the boxer shorts have been worn so much they are starting to fall apart. I desperately need a new pair. I’d go buy new boxers, but they are only comfortable to me after they’ve been worn a while. I can’t steal a pair from just anyone. Boxers rub on someone’s junk all day, and I’m VERY picky about whose junk I allow in my life.

The only option is to get a new boyfriend. This new boyfriend needs to have excellent taste in underwear because at the end of the day I’m going to be the one wearing them. Is that something I can add to my Match.com profile?


  • hmmm … don’t know if they have that option, but if not it should be!

  • Hahaha! Highly doubt you want ‘em, but I have some old pairs you can have.

  • Ha! So what about RLO’s your okay with his junk right?

  • You may end up with a man who wears boxer briefs. Can you live with that?

  • I know a certain Canadian…..

  • Hi,
    I have been following your blog from long time. Off course I liked the way of saying “I am looking” …

  • Boxers suck. Those of us that are, ahem, “more” than others need containment. Boxers don’t offer containment, only floppage.

    Floppage bad.
    Containment good.

    Boxer briefs all the way.

  • Insane mother of three: agreed. I’m just worried it will sound slutty if I’m like hey I’ll take your underwear off.

    MooKoo Joe: Did you just try and rub your junk on me? Awesome.

    Pooba: Um, RLO has junk? EWWWWW.

    SRA: I don’t know. Are they comfy to wander around the house in?

    Kel: So far that’s my best offer. I could deal with Carmen’s junk. Not date his junk, mind you, but wear his junk. Ahhh, this just sounds wrong. I can’t wear his junk. Well maybe if I wash it and he hasn’t let his junk in Matt Lake’s room.

    Anon: Um, thanks?

    Sov: I love that you just told the internet you have giant junk. That’s fantastic.

  • I know a certain Canadian, too…

  • Well, there’s always Matt Lake if you can’t see yourself dating Carmen. He does, after all, wear a chain-wallet.

  • Andi: Dude are you trying to share Canadian junk??

    Kel: Matt Lake’s junk is not allowed anywhere near me. Ever.

  • check Craigslist. I hear it’s safe.

  • I don’t know what it is, but there seems to be a shortage of boxer wearing guys. It seems like they have all switched to boxer briefs. What’s up with that?

  • I am a boxer guy

  • Here is what I can do. I wear tighty whities so I can’t offer you one of mine, those won’t work for you, besides the whole unknown junk issue. What if I put on a pair of boxers OVER my own underwear but under my pants. That way they get worn in, but there is no bum/junk contact. How long would I have to wear them to make them sufficiently “worn”?

  • Yes. Add that to your Match.com profile. BTW, how is match.com working out for you these days? I’m thinking of secretly signing up someone I know on one of those things….

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