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In Utah This Week, Issue #90

In Utah This Week, Issue#90

It’s February, which means time for anyone who is single to scramble in hopes of securing a Valentine’s Day date. The stress is enough to turn me into the typical bitter anti-Valentine’s Day spinster.
If I didn’t love the holiday shopping so much I’d have booted the holiday years ago. Valentine’s Day and Breast Cancer Awareness month are by far my favorite color oriented times of the year. It’s no secret I love pink. Growing up with four brothers left me grasping anything girly I could get my hands on– thus developing my lifetime love of the color.

I’d considered having a single girl party, but all my girlfriends have found relationships over the past few months putting a kink into that plan. Perhaps the best thing to do, in this case, is boycott the holiday altogether. I certainly can’t ignore it. I love the conversation heart candy too much. So boycotting the date portion of the evening will have to do.

I’ve come up with four ‘alternative to a date’ plans to choose from for my evening:

1. Staying home and watching Lost. This isn’t any different than most Thursday nights, but to spice it up a bit I’ll crank the heat in my apartment to 85 degrees, wear tattered island clothes and only eat fruit for dinner. Watching the lives of this cast will make me suddenly appreciate my own boyfriend or not.

2. Force Ask, my friend, Arlo to bake me a heat-shaped chocolate cake. I’ll certainly need the anti-depressive qualities of the chocolate while I spend the evening reading old love letters, eating cake, and wondering where my love life went wrong.

3. Go out to dinner alone for the sole purpose of people watching. I would entertain myself during dinner by creating an internal dialogue making fun of the cheesy couples in hopes of making myself feel better about not being apart of one. Of all the plans, I see this one backfiring and resulting with me going home in tears wishing I had a boyfriend.

4. Take a road trip to Hardup, Utah. I would search for some sort of gift shop with a clothing line containing pithy sayings using the word ‘hardup’, or at least postcards bearing the town name to mail my girlfriends. After hearing about this alleged town for years, it’s time to find out if it really exists. What better day than Valentine’s Day?

However I end up spending my evening, I’ll try and add a little humor to a night that makes so many of us feel badly about our single status. I don’t need one specific day to make me feel badly for not having a boyfriend; I have a mother who makes me feel badly about that nearly every single day.


  • Don’t feel bad about not having a boyfriend. Feel empowered that you are not tied down to one, and that you can go out on as many one-time dates as you want.

    Not that I don’t love my boyfriend, but let’s just say that if I had had any idea that this relationship would last much longer than my usual 4-month stints, I would have paid a little more attention to the freedom of my single life before this relationship.

    You have something for coupled people to be jealous of — your own life.

  • sra: Thank you! I don’t necessarily feel bad about not having a boyfriend so much as not having someone to change the bathroom light bulb I can’t reach.

  • I think a lot of men can tell you have an agenda. Men do not like this.

  • Anon: What agenda would that be? Finding a suitable man and having a happy relationship? Because if men don’t like that, I’m screwed. Well, not literally, I guess.

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