This week’s installment of “The Dating Years.”
The theme of this week’s issue is dancing, in a roundabout way.. I’ve been trying to come up with a way to discuss dancing in a dating column. This has been rather difficult given I’ve already written about my short-lived pole-dancing career.
The only retained memory of my other short-lived dancing career, ballet, was timing. My dance teacher used to repeat to me over and over, “Sarah, timing is everything.” My timing has always been a bit off–in dancing and dating alike.
Last summer when I should have taken some time off dating to heal a past relationship, I chose to instead date The Yuppie. Consequently, ruining any possibility of maintaining a healthy and loving relationship with him. But, I just couldn’t help myself. You’d understand if you spent five minutes with him. He’s incredibly handsome, intelligent and witty, with the perfect blend of sarcasm.
I’ve always had a difficult time forming a loving attachment. For me, it’s a matter of trust. I’ve had enough negative dating experiences in my life, that it takes me a little longer than most to gain an element of trust. While dating The Yuppie, I didn’t give myself enough time to form that trust and attachment. I was too caught up in my past relationship baggage to realize that.
When we ended our relationship last summer there were some hard feelings on both our parts. Fortunately after a fair amount of time, we both moved on and were able to establish a healthy friendship.
We don’t see one another as often as I’d like; life is busy with work, friends and other relationships–ones we tend to vent to one another about.
Saturday night we got together for dinner and some above-mentioned venting. Sitting across from him at dinner I couldn’t help but remember why I was so attracted to him in the first place. He is one of the few people in my life who really understands me. I know how cliché that sounds, but it’s entirely true. When talking to him about my love life I never feel the need to justify my decisions to stop dating someone. He understands my snobbery, as he has been accused of the exact same thing.
As he spoke I felt a wave of sadness hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t help but question our relationship. What if our timing had been different? What if we’d met now, rather than a year prior? With a giant lump in my chest I quickly changed the subject to something a tad less emotional: the band playing. Unknown to me, my favorite brunch spot, Caffé Niche, has live music on Friday and Saturday nights. The Yuppie had noticed a sign out front and invited me to go check it out with him. The band was incredible. I have no idea who they were, but the singer was astonishing. I for one, will most definitely being going back to hear her sing. Plus they serve wine.
The evening ended and once I got home I couldn’t shake the feeling that my poor timing had ruined something with him… something that could have been extraordinary. It was extremely difficult to make sense of my emotions, but I finally did. What I wasn’t able to achieve when dating The Yuppie I was able to achieve now. In my friendship, I finally found that much needed element of trust, and with that I have been able to form an attachment. Proving once again, my timing it complete crap.