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Keeping it in the Family

Yesterday while I was on the phone with Kelli I found out some very fascinating information.  No, they have not found a miracle cure for OCD, so she’ll still be vacuuming her backyard twice a week.

The news was even bigger.  Apparently she and my brother, Matt, went to prom together when they were in high school.  I had no idea.  I’m guessing I wasn’t informed because I hated her so much back then and would have found additional ways to torture both her, and my brother.

She was this close to being my sister.

I’ve never seen the pictures, so I have no proof of this date.  However, when she got engaged to one of Matt’s best friends he emailed her his best wishes.  By best wishes he told her to tell her fiancée he was going to kick his ass for trying to marry his prom date.  Something about breaking guy code.  This is where I get confused, I thought guy code was whoever drinks the last beer has to go get more beer, same goes for the last roll of toilet paper.

I hope Kelli and Scotty take their time setting a date, because there will still time for me to win her back.  Errr, I mean, Matt to win her back.


  • You are extremely misinformed. In guy code, the last guy to use the toilet paper doesn’t go get more, the other guys just find alternate ways of making it work. And maybe you should just marry Carmen. Then we’ll be sisters.

  • P.S….perhaps if I had put out at prom, this would have worked out in our favor. I blame the Mormons for brainwashing me at that tender age.

  • What kind of person doesn’t put out at prom?

    I suppose you wore underwear under your dress as well?

    Proms in Utah are totally weird.

  • I second brittany. You get the corsage, rent the limo, have a nice dinner and don’t get laid? Thats like paying for a hooker and taking her dancing. Who would do that?

  • My offer of marriage is still on the table, provided we move to MA because I insist that shit be legitimate. There would be less football talk with me as your life partner.

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