I’ve been reluctant to write about Daisy loosing her eye. My natural coping mechanism is to turn anything the slightest bit painful into a joke–as seen here.
Daisy got hurt a few years ago. I only have myself to blame.
I was staying in the country with my parents. My dad doesn’t believe that dogs should live indoors. We always had a dog growing up, but it was my dad’s dog to take running and to the farm. We were never allowed to bring the dog indoors. At the time this didn’t really bother me. I didn’t know anything different. In fact I grew up not really liking dogs. I remember avoiding a friend’s house because she had an inside dog. I couldn’t even sit down on her couch because the thought of dog hair freaked me out. I can’t help but laugh at how silly I was. Now, not only does Daisy hair cover nearly everything I own, but I also let her sleep in my bed. I think a shiver just went up my dad’s spine.
My dad doesn’t allow Daisy to run rampant through his house, like she does at mine. It’s his house so I respect his wishes. When we visit Daisy has to stay in my old bedroom. Which may have something to do with the fact I rarely visit home, that and the fact the closest Starbucks is over an hour away. (Insert gasping sounds here.)
This particular day I let Daisy outside while I made a quick phone call. Normally I would go outside with her. The yard is not fenced and it’s the country. Who knows what could happen. Some farmer may steal my unsuspecting pug and turn her into a farm cat, or worse yet an outdoor dog.
While on the phone I heard a sound that I will never forget. It was the sound of pain. I dropped the phone and ran outside. There I found Daisy with a bulging eye too disgusting to describe. My best guess is my dad’s lab pushed her away with his paw and it caught her eye just right.
After two expensive surgeries my girl was left with one eye. And this left me with a broken heart. Even now, writing about it, I feel sick inside and completely inadequate. I let my girl lose a fucking eye. If I can’t keep my pug safe, what makes me think I could someday be a good mother?
Yes she’s just a dog. But that dog is my baby.