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My One-Eyed Girl

I’ve been reluctant to write about Daisy loosing her eye.  My natural coping mechanism is to turn anything the slightest bit painful into a joke–as seen here.

Daisy got hurt a few years ago.  I only have myself to blame.

I was staying in the country with my parents.  My dad doesn’t believe that dogs should live indoors.  We always had a dog growing up, but it was my dad’s dog to take running and to the farm.  We were never allowed to bring the dog indoors.  At the time this didn’t really bother me.  I didn’t know anything different.  In fact I grew up not really liking dogs. I remember avoiding a friend’s house because she had an inside dog.  I couldn’t even sit down on her couch because the thought of dog hair freaked me out.  I can’t help but laugh at how silly I was.  Now, not only does Daisy hair cover nearly everything I own, but I also let her sleep in my bed.  I think a shiver just went up my dad’s spine.

My dad doesn’t allow Daisy to run rampant through his house, like she does at mine.  It’s his house so I respect his wishes.  When we visit Daisy has to stay in my old bedroom.  Which may have something to do with the fact I rarely visit home, that and the fact the closest Starbucks is over an hour away.  (Insert gasping sounds here.)

This particular day I let Daisy outside while I made a quick phone call.  Normally I would go outside with her.  The yard is not fenced and it’s the country.  Who knows what could happen.  Some farmer may steal my unsuspecting pug and turn her into a farm cat, or worse yet an outdoor dog.

While on the phone I heard a sound that I will never forget.  It was the sound of pain.  I dropped the phone and ran outside.  There I found Daisy with a bulging eye too disgusting to describe. My best guess is my dad’s lab pushed her away with his paw and it caught her eye just right.

After two expensive surgeries my girl was left with one eye.  And this left me with a broken heart. Even now, writing about it, I feel sick inside and completely inadequate.  I let my girl lose a fucking eye.  If I can’t keep my pug safe, what makes me think I could someday be a good mother?

Yes she’s just a dog.  But that dog is my baby.

Comments

  • First Time Comment

    I’ve wondered for a long time what happened to her. Thanks for finally sharing the story.

    I feel horrible for you. It’s hard when bad things happen to those we love.

    It’s not your fault and you’ll make an excellent parent.

  • There wasn’t any neglect on your part. It was just a freak accident. Exactly the same thing could have happened with you standing right there.

    M.Bryan

  • Here’s some things to look forward to on your next visit to the country:
    I have a fenced in area where Daisy will feel comfortable, or you could even let her in my house. I don’t care!
    And we have a neat little coffee shop that’s not too bad and it’s only 5 minutes away! Yay!
    I miss you.

  • Oh gosh, don’t blame yourself. That lab could have swiped her whilst you stood right by and watched and there is nothing- in that split second- you could have done. Your pug still loves you, and we do too!

  • :( That is terrible and so sad!

  • Dogs love their owners no matter what…….

  • my dad is blind in one eye. it was a bungee cord accident years ago.

    he and your pug should hang out. ;)

  • Oh boy, now I feel horrible about the names I suggested in the comments of the last post. I’m sorry.

  • Awwww .. poor girl. Accidents happen and when they do, you can’t control the outcome. She’s obviously still a happy girl so she’s forgiven you … the hardest part is actually forgiving ourselves.

  • Daisy is adorable and obviously very, very well-loved. Accidents are accidents and it has nothing to do with what kind of mother you’ll be someday. In fact, your love and protection of Daisy proves you’re already a wonderful mother (or dog mother/owner).

  • Awww! As an owner of two mini wiener dogs, I completely understand how you are feeling. They have had a few minor incidents of their own (nothing compared to the gorgeous Daisy) and it has made me feel the same way. I always feel better when I remember how resiliant pets are and how they figure out how to function no matter what. Daisy knows you love her and that is all that matters.

  • It was an accident! You will be a great Baby Mama someday as you are already a great Doggy Mama!

    Hey if I can do it, anyone can! ;-)

  • True story:

    My parents have a boat and 4 Yorkies (mama-dog & daddy-dog and 2 puppies). They decided to give all of the dogs boating names. Well, daddy-dog and his son don’t get along and one day there was a fight which left daddy-dog’s eye hanging out. My mother rushed him to the vet and as they were preparing him for surgery, the technician asked what his name was. She just about passed out from laughter when my mom said “Pirate.”

    Luckily, his eye was saved. Yes, that’s really his name. The other dogs are Skipper, Buoy, and Maui.

    Don’t be hard on yourself. Things happen and I’m sure she doesn’t even remember. She loves you just the same. Maybe she hates the other dog, but she loves you :)

  • Oh how horrible for you! Don’t be too hard on yourself, it is not like you knew something would happen to her.
    I have three dogs, that are my babies and two actual human babies that I call my own! Let me tell you, baby dogs are nothing like baby humans. You can still be a good Mom to your kids and your dog. Hey, shit happens.

  • Like many others have said, it was an accident that could’ve happened while you were there.

    My two year old son got his hand stuck in a RUNNING treadmill while my 5 year old “exercised”. Now that is dumb, and I could’ve prevented that, but maybe not. (he only received some pretty bad burns, no fingers were lossed thank baby jesus.)

    So, don’t be hard on yourself, that dog is far more loved than lots of two eyed doggies…thanks for sharing your story.

  • Sarah….
    Yep, having grown up on a farm, I have the same views on dogs…even today. Can’t stand dog hair everywhere.. I even blogged about it a couple of days ago. I rember your yard having a fence???? Hmm…

  • There is no such thing as “just” a dog … or “just” a cat.

    I loathe that word. “Just” should be outlawed. It is 4-letters, after all.

  • Accidents happen. Daisy is loved. That’s all that matters. And I love that you got her an eyeball ball to play with!

  • What a horrible thing to have happen! She is still a beautiful girl, fo sho!

  • I am a pug mama as well, and I know all to well those eyes as beyond delicate. My mom is the proud owner of a one eyed pug herself, after an unfortunate incident with a boxer.

    Daisy is adorable, and I, for one, admire the physical and mental strength it took to rescue her, and her eye, and get the bloody mess to the vet. I would have been passed out on the ground.

  • Sarah,

    You are such a good mom! The fact that you feel so horrible proves it. Thank God for Sarah Nielson.

  • My baby burned his foot on the iron that I left on the floor and forgot to tell his dad about. Dad, not knowing that it was there, took him out of his seat and let him crawl around. He burned himself so badly that he will likely have a scar for the reset of his life.

    I feel like a horrible mother every time someone sees the mark and asks me what happened. But….I’m only human. I would never do anything to intentionally harm my child, and I’m quite confident that you feel the same about Daisy.

    Plus…I think the wink makes her look sexy.

  • I have a 13 year old dachshund. When he was just 4 a disc ruptured in his back. He was left unable to walk. It freaked me out. My husband (at the time…now my EX husband) when I called him said to me “Dammit Julie, it’s JUST a dog! Put him to sleep and we’ll just get you another one!” We had only been married a couple of years and our budget was tight but I just couldn’t fathom life without my sweet pupper. Lucky for me, I had the greatest father in the entire world who also loved animals. I called him sobbing and told him the surgery was going to cost about $5000 and he said “Baby, you do whatever you need to in order to get that dog well. I’ve got some $ put back for a rainy day and you’re in luck, today looks cloudy!” So 9.5 years later, my dog is 100% better and suffered no long term affects. I divorced that asshole (for a number of reasons) and the dog and I are happy. Daddy died 5 years ago but he never regretted one single second of giving me that money! People may think dogs are “just” dogs. But they aren’t. They are way more!

    I think Daisy looks sweet…like she’s winking!

    PS I also let both my dachshunds sleep with me AND my husband. Dog hair doesn’t bother me but I use one of those lint rollers every night before I climb into bed.

  • I was never a huge dog lover, but in high school my brother and I brought home a beagle puppy. That dog lived in the house and totally changed my feelings toward dogs inside. I’m still a little leery around stranger dogs and I feel there are size limitations to keeping a dog inside, but I’m getting a little better with dogs.

    And your story about poor Daisy, just broke my heart a little!

  • I feel your pain. My Boston Terrier lost his eye when he was a year and a half old from an infection. We tried everything in our power to save it but couldn’t. This was after he had already had surgery on his other eye. I felt tremendous guilt for a long time even though rationally I knew it wasn’t my fault. Tug is now 7 ½ and you would never know he is missing an eye by the way he acts. Dogs adapt so well. It’s a risk with we take with the smooshed face breeds, but I love them! Don’t be so hard on yourself. I bet Daisy is as happy now as when she had two eyes. Can we send you pictures? I have a picture of Tug and Willy that I think you will like!

  • I completely understand what you mean about the guilt you feel when something happens to your “baby” (I have two “babies” myself, and have had similar situations with them in terms of hurt and pain and feeling responsible)….keep in mind that you can’t control what happens to them all of the time, stuff happens….you’d like to protect them 100% of the time but it is impossible….and it’s not like you meant for it to happen to Daisy, it was an accident. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

    Your “baby” loves you just the same! You can do no wrong in her eyes!

  • The poor little dear. Thank you for sharing that story, even though it made me cry a little. We used to dog sit for a little dog that had been abused by her first owner, and because of that abuse she became blind. Whenever she came to our house she would inevitably run into things because she had to re-familiarize herself with the layout of things, and I would cry like a baby, just thinking about how she became blind in the first place borke my heart. It does my heart good to see that your Daisy is so loved.

  • Thanks for sharing – Daisy is the coolest one eyed dog EVER and pets are a reflection of their owner. So, that makes you the coolest super cute girl in the world!!

  • “Yes she’s just a dog”?

    Don’t EVER let anybody tell you she’s JUST a dog! She’s your baby, and nobody has the right to demean or undewhelm your feelings for her! It’s a very sad story but I’m sure that you blame yourself more than Daisy does. Sometimes bad things happen but the important thing is all the good times the 2 of you have had together!

    P.S. I’ve been reading for a while but this is my first time commenting.

  • Daisy is completely oblivious to the fact that you just wrote this entry. Do you know why? Well I mean besides the fact that she is a dog and is completely oblivious to the concept of blogs all together. Because she’s moved on and has no idea that you’re still feeling guilty about an ACCIDENT. Daisy has forgiven you, clearly–you need to forgive yourself.

  • That’s not your fault! It was an accident! And Daisy is a happy little pup because she has a GREAT MOMMY!! The love goes both ways, no worries!

  • I know how you feel about your dog being your baby. I have a tiny dog that I absolutely love.
    Here’s to the babies we will someday have, and here’s to the babies we’ve already got.

  • Things happen for a reason. Accidents included. If it hadn’t happened that day, it would have happened another day, under different circumstances, perhaps one where you weren’t there. Animals teach us a lot about ourselves (just as children do) and you have to consider all of the positives that have come of it. She’s no worse for wear, you have a one of a kind dog that loves you and if you have any doubt of the goodness you have done for her, turn to Animal Planet most nights and check out Animal Cops. THOSE people are bad pet owners and the furry friends who suffer tragedy and go on to live happy lives are inspiring to all of us pet owners.

    The love and pain and guilt and joy all are part of what makes you a great pet owner and will make you a great Mama someday. It’s the unfeeling bastards who should have their children and their pets taken away.

  • Funy that I just finished writing about getting a puppy to curb my baby cravings…poor Daisy. But in spite of that sad sad story, you made the coolest dog ever. It was divine intervention…so don’t feel too bad. Everyone that reads your blog totally wants a one-eyed pug. At least, I do.
    Love you

  • You need to stop blaming yourself. Animals get hurt. People get hurt. We do the best we can to care for them and each other. Sometimes, sweetie, accidents just happen.

  • I will never be able to friends with someone who thinks that a dog is “just a dog.”

  • Dammit, that was supposed to say “be friends with.” Me not typey so gud.

  • Aww hunny, im so sorry. Thanks for sharing that with us

    I agree with your comment.. my dogs are my life and i would feel exactly the same if anything happened to them

    *Doggie Cuddles for Daisy* =o)

  • Daisy loves you unconditionally… Why else would she let you dress her up in princess costumes?

    Obviously you’re going to be a great mama someday. You’re a great dogmom, and a terrific aunt, even to little non-biological niecies (So terrific that I’m being sneaky about seeing you and not bringing Lo because if I tell her where I am going she might never forgive me!)

  • I almost went blind in an unauthorized chemistry experiment in high school. The quote under my year book picture said “Poster child for safety goggles”. It’s pretty scary that I might have lost an eye, but at the same time I’m kinda sorry that I never got to wear a cool eye patch. Which leads me to my point: single-eyed creatures like Daisy and pirates have way more character and are therefore more naturally interesting than us binocular folk.

  • Don’t be so hard on yourself.
    Seriously, who’d think another dog would’ve done that – especially your dad’s dog!

    You do the best you can – and sometimes, even when you’ve done your best, things like this happen.

    She’s cute as hell – and you can tell she’s very loved. That’s what matters!

  • She’s really a sweet-looking dog and it says so much about you that you care greatly about her though you weren’t raised that way. The idea that animals have no feelings comes from people who have none.

  • There’s no way you could watch her 24/7 and the world’s an imperfect place. Daisy’s a perfect ambassador- you can tell she’s dearly loved and adored!

    I feel your pain w/the guilt though- I lost my beloved peke to a choking incident. Unfortunately he was 12 at the time and had been having seizures. So, on the vets advice, as he was choking -I was trying to startle him out of the seizure by clapping my hands loudly and making other loud noises- while still rushing him to the vet.

    The vet discovered he’d choked on a rawhide- one of those cute little rawhides that are tied in knots at the end to look like a bone. The vet’s office actually had those very things on display in their office! I like to warn everyone about them bc they are NOT safe- especially for little dogs!

  • I left my pug with my parents for 2 weeks. He was 2 eyed when I left him, when I returned to pick him up he had a red swollen cloudy eye. Which I had not been told about until I got there. (I wonder if that’s where I get my passive aggression from.)
    It isn’t red any longer, and isn’t as cloudy, but I can visibly see the hole from where he poked it with something. I am afraid he will forever be blind in that eye. Its sad that their eyes are so fragile and they don’t relize they are fragile. Crazy little bastard he is.

  • I know how you feel. One of my babies (cats) is sick right now and all I can think is…what did I do to cause this to him?

    On the brightside, this same cat has NO eyes (he had surgery to remove both of them several months after I adopted him) and he is the bravest, happiest cat I have ever known!

  • I’ve been strongly considering getting a pug myself. Great dogs.

    Don’t beat yourself up over what happened. Life is a son of a bitch, whether you’re a human or a pug. Things happen. The bright side is she’s still around.

  • i’m not sure why we often feel the need to preface emotional reactions to animals with the word “just”. just a dog. just a cat. just a cow. it takes a big heart to be courageous enough to proclaim against the dominant paradigm that a connection to animals is not only normal and appropriate, but a sign of true emotional maturity.

    perhaps you should save the “just” for yourself…you are just a human, you are only human, and accidents happen. i’m glad your girl is ok.

  • That is a freak accident and mere coincidence. I mean what are the odds of that? You can’t blame yourself for letting dogs *gasp* PLAY!!!! You obviously love Daisy and she clearly loves you. The simple fact that you’re racked with guilt over this after all this time and still get upset about it is proof enough for me that you’ll be a great mom.

  • Daisy’s mom,

    About a year ago while walking my two little chihuahuas on a creek-trail an off leash pit bull mix appeared out of nowhere. He was behind us, running off leash, full steam ahead. I yanked up on my little babies leashes and, rather than protecting them, made them into dangling chew toys. I tried to kick at the dog, and was screaming “no!” at him, but he sank his powerful jaws into my baby Troopers ribcage anyway.

    After a race to the emergency vet, a couple of overnight stays, and weeks of tentative care and bandage changes with wincing moments of accidentally hitting the bruised bits, Trooper was back on his feet. His rib cage, however, remains misshapen to this day.

    I understand how hard it is to forgive yourself for letting your baby get mangled, but as I see it my boy is happy, and so it your girl. We should be happy for their happiness, and stop dreading the “if”.

  • She is just a dog and you will feel even more badly when a child of yours is injured in some way that you will swear is your fault.

    These things happen. These things happen to us all.

  • My dog Max ended up paralyzed and in a little doggy wheelchair because of me. I mean, we can’t prove it was me, but I blame myself. He ran away for a day and when I finally found him I was so angry that I grabbed him pretty roughly.
    The vet said that with his bones/spine it was only a matter of time, and that he was most likely injured by something during his runaway day, but I cannot get past how I just grabbed him and tossed him into the back seat of the car.
    That being said, he lived to age 16 and was loved by everyone.

  • Poor sweet Daisy. I once laughed at the thought of a large dog walking into things because he wasn’t able to see anymore, but after I got my own little sweet dog, my whole world changed and I’m unable to find animal pain funny.

  • Reading this story, and being someone who literally grew up with pugs, I can honestly say that I can’t possibly see how Daisy’s accident is your fault. I remember my current pug having a brush with a large dog that gave her a terribly scratched eye. The vet said that it’s common for pugs to have eye issues because their eyes are vulnerable sticking out the way they do.

    I love reading about Daisy; she’s a fantastic pup! And I can tell you really love her.

  • I think you’ll make an excellent mother (to humans and animals alike). You’ve already got the anxiety and guilt bit down pat. :)

  • “I found this blog very useful – keep up the good work ^^

    About your design, which theme have you installed here? Its a great design and I would like to know the name of it.”

  • i feel so bad for you…………….

  • You’re a real deep thinker. Tahkns for sharing.

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