Did you guys watch the Neil Diamond TV concert last night? If not please lie, because otherwise you are dead to me.
I was so excited about the concert that I picked out a special couch outfit, which is code for tee-shirt and underwear. I couldn’t decide on just one shirt, instead I chose two and switched halfway through the concert. I did, not, however switch underwear. It seemed like a waste of a clean pair. I’m single-handedly saving the environment with my vagina.
After watching the concert I decided Neil should be my BFF. I mean we have sooooo much in common–well except for that wrinkly old man part. He’s Jewish and I work out at the Jewish Community Center. He has a pink sparkly shirt, I have four. OK, so the similarities stop there, but that doesn’t mean the BFF-ship should stop. It’s perfect timing since RLO is practically worthless to me.
(When your BFF falls in love he suddenly become an idiot.)
(RLO didn’t tell me he was in love, but he also didn’t tell me he was Canadian and he totally is.)
(Canadians shouldn’t be allowed to fall in love and ruin lives.)
(So maybe RLO didn’t ruin my life, but eating at the pub isn’t the same without him.)
(Enough about RLO. He pisses me off anyway. Neil Diamond DOES NOT piss me off. Neil Diamond is perfect.)