I hate you. I know that sounds harsh, but I think we’ve been together long enough that I can express my feelings without the worry of offending you. Three years is a lifetime of commitment for me. During our honeymoon stage I thought you were the best thing ever. I always found comfort in your single bottle of pesto, and your cheap food court hot dogs. But now? Now I need more.
Let me rephrase that… now I need less.
I stopped in this afternoon to say hi and pick up some pesto sauce. I left with three pounds of spinach, four pounds of grapes, and two pound of blueberries. Do you see the problem? I live alone and I don’t bathe in fruit salad.
Unless you start selling families in bulk I’m going to have to do my shopping elsewhere.
P.S. Please have someone swing by and drop off the pesto I forgot to pick up.