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NPR is the Leading Cause of Insanity

My family is usually very tolerant of my crazy. I think it has something to do with earning double points in order to access heaven.

Please note that getting into heaven may be a tad more complex than a reward card system. I’m not current on all things Jesus, but I imagine there’s a bit more to Christianity than double point day.

Anyway.

My brother, Ben, is probably the most tolerant of my crazy, because he shares a similar quality. This is the kid who removed the front, passenger seat of his car so people wouldn’t get in his space. Um, yeah. We’re totally related.

Ben knows a lot about cars. He’s been fixing my countless car issues for years. And until now he’s been happy to help. My car, much like me, is getting older. It desperately needs replacing, which I plan to do in the spring. Until then, however, I worry about all the small noises coming from the engine area. Each time I hear a weird noise I call and leave Ben a voicemail. This frequently occurs right after I listen to Car Talk on NPR. The program is my crack, and my brother’s biggest pet peeve.

Last weekend they featured a girl who lost a pregnant Madagascar Hissing Cockroach in her family’s car. It’s true! You can listen to the clip here.

After hearing this, I was convinced my car had a pregnant Mormon cricket hiding under a seat. I called and left my brother a very detailed message. He didn’t return that call, or the next call about my broken steering wheel. He also didn’t return the call from the previous week about… actually, I don’t even remember, but whatever it was IT WAS BROKEN.

This is all very upsetting and I’m considering having his reward card revoked as punishment. If that doesn’t work I’m going to refuse to replace my car.

That’ll teach him.


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