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Public Restrooms are Dangerous

I’m going to share another embarrassing bathroom moment. I am well aware that I have far more humiliating moments than most people. I think this is because I never bother thinking before speaking. That coupled with the fact I don’t have a filter results in way too many ‘Sarah-ness’ moments.

I hate walking into the office bathroom and having it smell bad. Of course I hate the smell, but even worse I hate someone attributing that smell to me.

For example, at my last job I was in the bathroom washing my hands when a fellow employee walked in. The bathroom was especially stinky and I didn’t want her thinking it was me so I said, “I swear that disgusting stench isn’t from me. It was a stink bomb before I arrived. Someone must have really had some bad food for lunch.” She looked at me and said, “That was me. I’m sorry to have inconvenienced you with my intestinal system.”


What does one do in that situation short of disappearing into thin air? I felt like an asshole, apologized and walked out.

I have yet to figure out why so many of my humiliating life moments seem to take place in the bathroom, and until I do it’s best to probably just avoid public restrooms altogether.

Unrelated: does anyone know if you can buy space diapers online?


  • I wonder why she was going back into the bathroom…gross, I hope you didn’t have to use the same toilet!

  • I thought you weren’t into sci fi. Typically adult diapers only come in white I’m told.

    Interesting note: things you smell are tiny particles of that item.

    Buy an Out of Order sign that you can quickly put up and take down when entering and exiting the lavatory. Problem solved.

  • space diapers? hm. i would google it, but as i’m at work i wouldn’t want that to show up in their logs!

    and public restrooms are just never good. there’s nothing good about doing something private like pooping less than 2 feet away from a stranger with partitions and not walls to give you privacy.

  • Maybe she was coming back to light a match?

  • Just be thankful your va-jayjay doesn’t have teeth.That would really bite.

  • I’m so glad we keep air freshening sprays on the back of our company toilets. I don’t know what I’d do without them!

  • I am beginning to think we are living parallel bizarre-o-world lives; except for the boobs.
    I went into the restroom and my friend Greg was already standing at one of the urinals. I said, “Whew, better hurry and get out of here before someone blames you for that.” Greg started laughing so hard I had to jump back to get out of the line of fire. When we got out of the restroom he punched me and said, “You Jerk! The guy was still in the stall.” Oooops.

  • um… i really think that SHE should have been embarrassed! ;)

  • This is not even your fault! I think you are just constantly talking to people in public restrooms who have no sense of humor. Maybe it’s a Utah thing.

  • That’s funny and yet sad. ha ha ha ha ha!

  • How dumb of her to not only have gotten all high and mighty, but to have admitted to it! If that were me I would have been like, “Yeah, phew, GROSS!” Gotta wonder where people’s brains are.

  • At least you didn’t have to beg her to “spare a square”.

  • Thank you for making me grateful that my office only has one womens toilet and one mens toilet. It avoids the whole conversation in the bathroom all together!

  • This whole blog post goes to prove how far mankind has got out of touch with nature. Animals stink and on biological level, humans are animals. Sometimes, if someone had something bad for lunch or the wrong kind of germs in the gastrointestinal tract (there are good kinds of germs too), we stink a lot. We can’t help it. You don’t need to be ashamed anymore than you need to be ashamed if you’re blind or have only one leg.
    In this story, the person that caused the smell apologized for it. That wasn’t really necessary, but a polite gesture.

    If only people were a bit more accepting of their smell.

  • I’m the sort of person who would own up to the stink even if it wasn’t me that made it. The thought of horrifying somebody who was so self-absorbed and worried I might think it was them (and who had to proactively inform me to the contrary) sounds delicious. Lighten up Sarah–at the end of the day nobody really cares if your farts stink and nobody will remember anyway.

  • Everybody poops, pees, and farts — and nobody’s sh*t smells like roses.

    You’ll be okay. I promise.

  • Wow- thanks for the lecture Johan. It sounds like the woman was trying to make Sarah feel bad- rude much?

    Eric- wow, a sign? that’s preparedness! And thanks for putting that smells are particles of the actual thing into my head– ugh!!

    And thanks for the funny Sarah!

  • Oh no hahahahahah god thats something i’d do =oD How embarrasing!!!

  • I’ve trained myself over the years to only poop in the morning BEFORE my shower.

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