I love hearing from readers, not as much as I love wine, but a VERY close second!


Reason to Drink

While paying for a drink and gum at a gas station last night the woman in line behind me asked, “Does your rash hurt?”

“Um, it’s pretty itchy, but wine helps.”

Before she had a chance to respond the cashier motioned for me to pay for my purchase.  When I turned around she was gone.

I got home and studied myself in the mirror.  I was wearing a tank top, but the rash is limited to just my legs.  I looked at myself from every angle in the mirror and couldn’t see any spots of rash.  For the life of me I could not figure out how this woman had noticed my rash.

And then it hit me.

Not only did I write about the rash on the Internet, but I also posted a picture of my left ass cheek for all to see.

Great.  Just great.

And you know what else wine helps?  It helps me forget public humiliation–one glass at a time.


  • LOL … yeah sometimes I forget that I shared things until someone brings it up as party small talk and I about choke on my wine as I say, “uh … what?”

  • Ah the perils of being a pseudo local celebrity.

    I didn’t know that was your ass cheek.

  • Dang. I guess fans reveal themselves in various ways. But, what are the changes of that?

    Wine = Certainly helps.

  • Sometimes, what else is there to do, right?

  • I didn’t know about your rash until I saw this yesterday on my way to work…

  • Hey, you have a famous ass.. I mean rash!

    That calls for wine – to celebrate.

  • p.s. viewed the link squirrelmonkey left – hilarious! fricking hilarious!!

  • Yikes. That is pretty creepy, but cheaper than paying for site tracking. Know who reads your site based on how many rash-related comments you get from strangers! Innovative.

  • Normally after finding out there was a pic of your ass on the internet, I would have flirted a little & said “nice ass”….but Sarah, I gotta be honest, that one is not a turn on..!! ;) Luv ya anyways!!

  • OHMYGOSH I would have been MORTIFIED!

  • Brave girl- thanks for (over)sharing!

    Pls pls tell me that squirrelmonkey photoshopped that!!@#$$???

    Otherwise, that might call for a can of whupass no?

  • I think I would have paid good money to witness that moment.

  • Creep-tastic.

    This is what happens when you are famous, next up, marrying KFed and hitting rehab:)

  • That’s absolutely hysterical.
    Yet creepy at the same time. Why the hell didn’t she comment on anything else you write about, just your rashed up ass cheek. Yowza woman.
    I guess that’s one of the perils of being a famous bloggity blogger.

  • I guess that’s one way of saying hi.

  • i knew you had a famous face, but i had no idea other parts of you were famous! can i have your autograph?

  • I would never have guessed that was your left ass-cheek. I thought it was your right ass-cheek.


  • I love the way you share !!!
    This is very funny and I love how “raw” you are.

    Cathy – http://www.wheresmydamnanswer.com

    PS – Wine makes things so much better – that would be my perscription for just about whatever ails you. :)

  • Regarding your left butt cheek: Towards to bottom right hand corner there’s a bit of a blond hair. That’s so hot…such a tease.


  • yeah, i don’t really know where that line is either.
    you know, that should i share that or not line?
    i always err on the side of ‘oh what the hell.’
    someone may recognize my not a twenty year old’s ass from my description of it, but not from a photo. i won’t even LOOK at my ass in the mirror, let alone take a photo of it.
    i admire you greatly.

  • Ok- now I have reason to drink- not that I needed another, but thanks. I just have to say that I keep checking back bc I am soo curious as to the veracity of the squirrelmonkey post- bc if true I just can’t imagine life going on as planned for squirrelmonkey or myself, if sarah. i kindof need to know as a new blogger- are rash billboards an actual possibility?

    AND, now I’m also a little weirded out bc of jeffery- I had to go back and check out sarah’s “sexy” blond ass hair!@@# this is not healthy friday night behavior- I’ve got some blogs that might remain unpublished now- thanks to scaryassmonkeysquirrelhairs… or is that just me?

  • Tremendous.

    Maybe this’ll remind you we’re not the only ones who cause hilarity:


  • Jeffery, my darling, beloved gay,

    I hate to disappoint you, but that’s not a sexy little hair. It’s a very gross scratch on my skin from my fingernails. If you look closely, which I DO NOT RECOMMEND, you can see scratches everywhere. I almost cropped the picture for that very reason, but I’m lazy as hell and it wasn’t worth the bother.

  • twinkle beverages

    Wow, your left ass cheek reminds me of an old episode of “Sex and the City”. The one with the backside of an 80 year old man. Sorry.

  • Oh I want to be in your drunk book club. I mean…we can BE drunk right?

  • I am very curious – not about your rash, because believe me I have felt your pain. Someday if I ever meet you I will have to tell you the story of my July 2007 Amsterdam heat rash – but about your dog. By the way, I am a lurker. I found your blog from Loralee’s Blog (where I also lurk) because she’s the Sister of a Boss I used to have. It’s a small and weird world.

    So here it finally is…

    I love your dog, she is so cute, but I was wondering how she lost her eye.

  • You’re not intelligent Sarah, this blog doesn’t make you famous. You think that this person actually saw you from behind and recognized you from a shot of your ass on your blog? You’ve got serious problems. If I ever saw you I’d tell you you’re a dumb stupid bitch who needs to grow up and learn about the world. Everything you say makes it seems like you think wine comes from tomatoes.

  • Wow! Lester needs to go back to American Beauty suburbia. I love your blog. You rock!

  • I just read your twitter message and had to come see for myself what all the hate was about. Lester the molester needs to go back where he came from.

    Nice to see you can laugh at the haters and not let them get under your skin. I admire you for not deleting it, I would have instantly.

    I read your blog daily and I think it’s safe to assume that many others do as well. Keep up the good work!

  • Wait…wine doesn’t come from tomatoes?

  • i had a secret admirer in 9th grade named lester. he left notes in my locker for a week before he finally revealed his identity. when i read the note he signed i had no idea who he was and found out later that he was quite strange.

    i also had a professor in college named lester. everyone called him lester the tester, the grade point molester.

    when i hear the name lester i think of these guys. not a big fan of the name needless to say. your lester sounds like a winner as well!

  • Lester’s just pissed because in this life, not only does he not get to fuck Angela Hayes, but he’d even have a hard time convincing Col. Fitts to fuck him.

  • I feel you (on the rash). A few years ago I had an insanely ichy rash that basically ran all the way around my torso beneath the band on my bra. No matter what the doctor tried it would not go away. It eventually went away on it’s own about 3 weeks later, but man was I ever miserable (especially since I had a 45 minute commute in a car with no AC).

    So I’m not sure what’s worse–a rash on my ass or one under my bra. Either one sucks.

  • Lester needs to go get laid or something. But I’m getting the feeling that he is as hopeless with women as he is with put-downs.

    Nice try Lester. Go play with your peers on a pre-school blog somewhere!

  • Hey Lester, you douchebag – leave Sarah alone. Go jerk off or molest dogs, or whatever you do.

  • Let poor Lester say what he wants!!! Who are we to say what he should be doing with his refractory period? (I like to eat. So what if Lester likes to be an asshole-douchebag) There’s only so many times you can beat off to farm animal porn in a twenty four hour period anyway. The rest of the time he should be away from the computer licking windows and buttercupping his own farts. He’s harmless.

  • my guess….lester has a blog that he is quite proud of, where he tries to be witty but gets no hits and is therefore jealous of your fans and fame!

    i read you every day!

  • I think Lester’s playin hard to get.

    Don’t let his sour attitude fool you..

    ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  • Sarah, I read you everyday. You are my hero. I aspire to have your sense of humor and your wine consuming capabilities.

    Lester is a mother-fuckin’ d-bag.

  • @Lester Burnham – reread the blogs entries – You are confused — there was no rash showing. If you still need further explanation, just post – I’ll try to walk you through it.

  • I once saw Dooce at Toys R Us. I could not figure how I knew her and almost went up just to say hello and see if I could figure it out. Thank god I didn’t…

  • I love your blog and check it at least 3 times a day for your little updates. Just wanted to let you know that if you are looking for a wino weekend get away, head to Grand Junction, Co and do the winery loop. 21 vinards and lots and lots of free wine tasting.. If you already haven’t done it. Amazing wine and not very far from Salt Lake. Coloradowines.com

  • bwahaha
    maybe it was what your outfit?


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