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Ruining my Life, One Day at a Time

The agency I work for has a central speaker system. The first person to get access in the morning plays DJ all day. Usually that person is me. Having control of the office music is the driving force for getting out of bed every day. My life is very rewarding like that.

Yesterday morning I had Ben Folds playing. Typically when I leave the office I turn off my music of choice. However, when a meeting I’d forgotten about popped up on my calendar I was in a rush and forgot. When I returned I heard something that sounded less like Ben Folds, and more like my voice. I ran to my computer in horror. No it wasn’t a sex tape, though it sounded astonishingly like one.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! I am seriously sooooo hot right now!”

The file playing was my Botox session, which I recorded so I wouldn’t forget any minor details. Yes, as a matter of fact, humiliation is my middle name. So far, no one has said anything, but really why would they? They are too busy silently judging me, as they should be.

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