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Saving RLO

RLO’s family is ruining my life.  Yes, I see how that may sound excessively paranoid especially given that I’ve never even met them, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

His family is in SLC visiting this week, which means he has no time for me.  This happens every time they are in town.  I lose my best friend for days at a time. The worst was when his sister got married. Did she even ask my permission to get married on my birthday last year?  NO!  She’s obviously very selfish.  After the appropriate amount of guilt I forgave him, after all it’s not his fault his family is so inconsiderate.

This year not only are they in town stealing my BFF, but they are taking him away to a remote cabin in the forest.  This is where I draw the line.  How do I know they will take proper care of him?  Do they know RLO requires a certain amount of teasing to survive?  Do they know he must east at the pub at least once a week?  Do they have Diet Coke at this cabin?  Or a TV so he can stay caught up on “The Hills?”

I have a feeling they are going to fill his head with a bunch of “family first” nonsense that will likely take me months of brainwashing to correct.

And the worst part?  He didn’t even ask me if he could go.

RLO and his family, are obviously, fired.

I’m trying to be Christian about it, you know that whole “What Would Jesus Do” attitude.  But I’m pretty sure Jesus would kick their asses and take RLO back at any cost.  Isn’t that what salvation is all about?

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