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Sex Cookies

“RLO, will you make cookies for me?”

“I’ll make some of my specialty anti-Trainer Tracey cookies. I’m going for 700 calories per cookie.”

“What cookies might those be?”

“I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you. Though I can say that each cookie has a stick of butter in it.”

“I don’t like butter, so they’d have to taste like sex for me to eat them.  And good sex, the kind that doesn’t involve love. Sex with strangers, do they taste like sex with strangers?”

“All right. I’ll make special buttery coitus cookies for you. Or just butt sex cookies for short.”

“Sex cookies probably have chocolate in them, right?”

“Sarah, it’s hard to separate the two.”

“RLO, I’m seriously so hungry right now.  I’d take sex, cookies OR a stick of butter.”

“Yeah. I’m sure you would. You really need to push for an office so you can satisfy all three of those needs anytime you want.”

Comments

  • Can you mail some to me, too, please?

  • RLO is smart!

  • I love this game of cat and mouse;)

  • Never thought that a cookie recipe could sound like a “bodice ripper!”

  • Uhhh, sex cookies? I’m new to your blog…SO comin back..

    ps. If I send RLO a plane ticket could he come to Vegas and make me some of those?

  • Hey Robin, I live in Vegas too. Maybe we can share RLO? :)

  • I like how he thinks… ;)

  • Ok, I’m going to let you in on my little secret. Well, you and The Internets. If you are craving a cookie, here’s the easiest thing you can do (besides go to the grocery store and buy some):

    1 cup peanut butter
    1 cup brown sugar
    1 egg

    Mix it together, drop them on a cookie sheet, make the little marks with a fork, and bake them at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes.

    They are mad yummy. And yes, you can make them. My 10-year-old niece makes them. Plus, you won’t be indebted to RLO any more than you already are.

    You are welcome. ;-)

  • Clearly you have yet to try my sex cupcake. I give you my secret recipe; the one my mother (bless her soul) taught me:

    I. Cunilingus Cake
    ———————-
    Ingredients:
    1 can of tuna
    2 month-old eggs
    1 TSP of Tabasco Sauce
    Optional:
    A dash of yeast
    1 LB of Boston Cream Pie

    Directions:
    1. Bake the tuna in a sweaty pair of jeans for 24 hours
    2. Crack the eggs and allow to drizzle for 1 week.
    3. Add tabasco sauce (to taste), and any optional ingredients.

    II. Fellatio Frosting
    ———————
    Ingredients:
    1/2 cup chopped mushrooms
    3 dollops of mayonnaise
    2 shakers of salt
    1 stick of butter
    2 cubes of beef bullion

    Optional:
    1/2 cup of sweat

    Directions:
    1. Pour all ingredients into a hollowed-out sausage
    2. Bake over an open-fire, kneading
    gently every few minutes. (Small bubbling may occur)
    3. When boiling, poke a small pin-sized hole into the sausage, and squeeze forcefully over the cake, splattering in random gobs.

    ———

    Serve while hot.

  • Andi,

    I actually have those three ingredients in my apartment. This is a first! I’m going to try soon. While I wait for cheese fries.

  • The Sox start their post-season adventure tonight. The boys at work all remember what that means, do you? PUMPKIN GOODNESS.

  • I want some of those cookies!

  • I want cheese fries!

  • I have made the peanut butter cookies Andi was talking about and they rock!!!

  • Hmm, I think I would definitely take the cheese fries over the “sex cookies”. Especially if they’re Training Table cheese fries. Oh how I miss the Training Table, especially the one on 4th South it was always there on my way home.

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