Being the good friend that she is Kelli thinks she has found a solution for my financial woes. She has decided I should move to San Diego, go to school there on student loans, and commit to teaching school long enough for the government to pay off the loans. Not a bad idea, but I think she just wants a scooter buddy. Which is completely selfish given the fact I’m not near ready for year round swimsuit season.
Since RLO is my closest girlfriend these days, I discussed the idea with him.
“Sarah, you realize kids are shits, right?”
“All people are shits. I think age is irrelevant. You know this would all be so much easier if you’d a) be my sugar daddy, or b) let me sell your flower to the Internet.”
“Well you’re getting closer to being a born-again virgin. You can sell your own flower.”
“RLO, I think yours would yield a higher profit than a slightly used flower.”
“I just looked born-again virgin up and Urban Dictionary says 6 months. You are good to go. And I think your flower is in higher demand than mine.”
“I’ll sell both flowers and of course take all the profit, but at least you’ll be left with a satisfied wiener.”
He didn’t agree, but he also didn’t veto the idea, which is pretty much a green light. It wasn’t until later, I realized it was odd RLO knew the exact timing of my last sexual escapade. Needless to say, I’m going to find that hidden camera tonight and I’m going to give him a show to remember.