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Sperm Thief

Last Saturday was my office holiday party.  Since I didn’t have a date lined up RLO was kind enough to accompany me.  He immediately began to regret this decision once he saw his dinner place card:

I thought it was a clever little joke, but in hindsight I can see why people assumed we were married.  For example, while making small talk a co-worker’s husband asked us, “Do you guys have any kids?”  RLO quickly replied, “No, but we’re trying.”

Since the guy didn’t know RLO was kidding I cleared things up by explaining that RLO wasn’t my husband, or boyfriend, but just my very close friend.

Just when I finished explaining RLO muttered, “But that hasn’t stopped her from trying to steal my sperm.”

Um, awkward much?

The guy looked a little confused and I couldn’t really blame him.  I thought about explaining how I constantly beg RLO to be my marriage back-up plan.  Or how I asked RLO for a vial of frozen sperm as a birthday present, you know, just in case I decide I want a baby one of these days.

Instead, I let the conversation drop. It’s sort of uncomfortable discussing future sperm donors over dessert.  That’s more of an entrée conversation.


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