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Sucking my Pride

Yesterday RLO and I got in touch with our inner teen and joined Kelli for a showing of “Twilight.” I’m not above seeing a cheesy vampire love flick–ESPECIALLY when I am able to talk RLO into going.  Which, oddly enough, was quite simple to do. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact he’s been reading the book series.

That’s the only explanation for his complete emotional melt down during the movie. Throughout the movie RLO would lean in close to me and ask me to hold him.  Each time Kelli would glare and us and whisper, “I hate you both!”

We thought we were quite clever.  She did not.  I’d feel bad for ruining the movie for her but I was too busy feeling bad for myself that I got stuck sitting in front of complete movie assholes.

Movie assholes are the worst.  Is it really that difficult to keep your feet from kicking the seat in front of you repeatedly?  Guess so.  Instead of turning around and kindly asking them to stop I chose to pout.  When RLO left the movie for a quick trip to the bathroom he turned to me and said, “Sarah can you please not get into a fight while I’m gone?”

I nodded my head.  He should know by now I’m not about to talk shit on someone until I have someone else to save my ass.  Sure I had Kelli there, but she was too busy making weird moaning noises each time Edward Cullen came on screen.

I survived the movie.  My pride, however, did not.

Comments

  • It’s a damn good thing I had already seen the movie, or you and Rlo would have been the movie assholes and WE would have been fighting. Do NOT disturb my time with Edward if you know what’s good for you.

  • Next time bring pepper spray. It’s subtle and you don’t need to say anything. The only drawback is that you might have to change seats if your aim isn’t true. If the five-O show up blame the RLO guy. He seems nice enough to take the heat for you…

    That is unless RLO is short for Rollo which would be short for Roll Over’er meaning he would give you up for a treat or something shiny in which case you should back the idea in its entirety.

  • I think you were brave to even go into a theater to see the movie. IF I ever decide to see it (and frankly, that’s a BIG “if”), I will wait until I can watch it in the comfort of my own home. Why, you ask? Because people bug the living shit out of me, and I do not need to be surrounded by 100 rabid Twilight fans, thankyouverymuch. Glad you survived!

  • I hate movie assholes too.

    I once was sitting in front of a guy who kept putting his BARE FEET on the back of my seat!

    I stood up, turned around, and slapped him across the face.

  • I hate movie assholes too.
    That’s why I just wait and rent the movies.

  • This whole post made me cringe, but I’m not sure why.

  • I took my 13 year old daughter and her two friends who are huge Twilight fans. The collective gasp from the packed theater that was heard when Edward first walked on the screen was hilarious.

  • More proof that RLO is gay. He just wont admit it :)

  • My experience was so bad w/ schreaking little girls my friend turned to me and offered me my $11 back. That may have been after I told him I hate him and quit his wedding party. BUT I will say I think it is good so many young girls are reading.

  • Verily, this young female lust object has me quite addled. While I enjoy a firm bite and slap on the rear as much as the next Trollpop, to fancy oneself aroused at the sight of a neck-devouring creature of the night is, in my mind, unendingly perplexing!

    It is pathetic, my love, that I must admit. For such audience members to feel such infatuation for someone they have never met, and devote such time (which is worth a hefty penny ;-) ) for the love of a stranger. And to think they honestly believe they may have a chance with him. Ho ho ho! Silly fools, my dear :-).

  • Only thing worse than sitting in front of movie assholes is sitting on the THIRD ROW! I am in serious need of chiropractic help! But, Edward was so worth it!

  • Edward isn’t even attractive.
    I saw 8th graders wearing “bite me edward” shirts and was really disturbed.

    Is this a rip off of Buffy? I can’t decide to read the books as I am nervous. I hear that they are somewhat different (not a slayer) but that many things are similar….heard vampires in the books have some sex scenes where walls fall down (totally a rip off from buffy) please email me the answer

  • Ummm…I hate to say this, but he must be gay. I’ve asked every straight guy I know to go w/me & the answer is a resounding NO WAY.

  • Omg am I the only person on this planet that absolutely hated the movie? And I read the books. None of the actors did the characters any justice, except maybe Bella and Jacob. Ugh.

  • While Edward was delicious the movie was quite a dissappointment… not that I won’t see all the other ones when they come out.

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