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Super Powers for the Super Awesome

As a kid I always wanted to be able to fly. I’d like to think that’s why I pushed one of my brothers down the a flight of stairs when we were kids. I’m was such awesome big sister I wanted him to fly, too.

He didn’t.

There may or may not have been stitches involved.

Today I realized if given the choice of any super power I would NOT choose the ability to fly. Nope. I can do that with a freaking airplane. Instead I’d pick super metabolism. I could eat as much as I wanted and still look as hot as I wanted! The only time I would have to enter a gym would be to check out hot, sweaty men. And I so, so would. I would parade my skinny ass around that gym like I owned it.

It’s really the best super power ever. I’d trade my soul for super metabolism in a heartbeat. Or sleep with Super Man. Now, I just need to find that bastard. He’s been missing in action ever since I made fun of his spandex.


  • I have superman, but he’s mine and I’m not sharing. You don’t want him, anyway, since you think he’s like a brother to you or something.

  • Kel: The only super thing about him right now is he’s super sick. That’s what the bastard gets for going to Costa Rica and not taking us.

  • I bet supes went to his Fortress of Solitude. It’s where I go when people crack on me.

  • I was talking about his brother, actually. And seriously! What’s up with the Costa Rica thing? Just because we don’t put out (to him), I’m sure. Selfish bastard.

  • Kel: That concept is even grosser. I’d barf a little bit over it, but I don’t want to waste that wine I just drank.

  • Super metabolism is probably the MOST genius thing I’ve ever heard! I second that! There could be a Super Team of super metabolised women that every other women will hate….. oh yeah, that clique already exists. They’re called supermodels. Boo to that!

  • Afff. The only thing that makes you unattractive is your lack of self esteem. YOU. ARE. ALREADY. SKINNY. That’s not a compliment. You’re borderline too skinny. You should stop and enjoy all the things that are already on your side. You are an attractive woman. You should start acting like one and you’ll get the attention you desire.

  • Superman III was my scariest movie-watching experience of all time. That part where the lady gets sucked into the giant computer in the Grand Canyon, and the wires crawl over her face and make her evil … I still get upset thinking about it.

  • That would be my super power too–totally. Except, you don’t need it as much as I do, so if there was only one of those super powers to be handed out and it was between me and you? I’d grab it and run like hell!

  • The ONLY reason I work out with the personal trainer BF is so I can watch him. I am completely guilty of eye raping him while he lifts weights. I feel like such a perv sometimes, but can you blame me?

  • Yeah, so you are a genius like everyone else has said. Super Metabolism Woman would be my hero!

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