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That's What She Said: Gearing Up for Another Camp Out

Published for Now Salt Lake on August 18th 2011

My second camping trip with FSB(f) went swimmingly compared to the first trip. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but there’s no such thing as a perfect camping trip. Wait, I guess there could be a perfect camping trip … if George Clooney were in my sleeping bag or if there were a bar, Starbucks and hotel within 100 feet of our campsite.

I was far more prepared this time around, however I did neglect a few things:

• I forgot to bring food for breakfast. You know, the MOST important meal of the day. Oops. Luckily we were only 30 minutes from one of my favorite country diners, where we had coffee and breakfast.

• I should have packed extra water. I realized this when I found my brother brushing his teeth with beer — now that I think about it, this may actually have been his preference. After I dry heaved for a few minutes, I ran to brush my own teeth with the water I had hidden the night before.

• We bought new batteries for the portable iPod speakers, but didn’t pack extras. When the music died, not even the sound of chirping crickets could cover the mooing cows in the background.

Yes, as a matter of fact, we were sharing a campground with stray cattle. We arrived to find cows wandering through our campsite. Not sure what to do, I let Rosie Finlinson out of the Jeep. Pugs aren’t exactly herding dogs, but she got the job done.

Once the cows had been chased away, we started unpacking. My brother, Ben, and a few of his friends camped with us, which was great because they kept FSB(f) amused while I kept my dog from wandering off. It turns out that bitch of mine is more of a country dog than I ever expected. She guarded the food coolers from cows and kept other wildlife away, drank from the creek and entertained everyone with her antics.

Ben’s friends had most of the items I forgot: hand wipes, games, cups, etc. My mother was kind enough to make sure we were all fed. She sent us off with dutch oven dinners, chocolate cake and firewood. I suspect she’s spoiling FSB(f) in an attempt to keep him in my life, which is really quite thoughtful on her part. Parents would do practically anything to guarantee future grandchildren, a fact I plan to exploit in the future.

There must be a way to trick her into doing the post camping laundry, and delivering coffee and bagels to the campsite each morning. It’s not manipulation when it’s family!

*You can see additional photos here.

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