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That's What She Said–In Utah This Week

To read my column for In Utah This Week click here. I also wrote a guest post for The Kel, which you can read here. Obviously you have a lot to read, so snap to it.

Comments

  • My heart broke when Jon Knight came out. The good ones are always gay.

  • I say Brad Pitt all the way..
    and invite Angelina along for the ride.

    That’s what I’m talkin about! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  • Speedily I snap away!

    While I am somewhat offended by my lack of inclusion on this list, I do heartily agree with the majority of your decisions. However, I must sadly rule out a few for your own benefit. It pains me to do this, but as the close companion which I am, I must.

    1. While Bradley is a very handsome man, you have already heard his shrieking laugh. One cannot imagine conceiving a child when such a sound would inevitably come upon completion. This also rules out number 5, George Clooney.

    2. While Salinger is, of course, an excellent choice, I fear his sandwich has no mayonnaise and as such, all conception efforts would be in wrinkly, depressing vain.

    3. If said copulation takes place far from any dirt roads, you may indeed be safe — although I needn’t warn you about the family curse. But such is the risk one must take!

    4. This man seems far too old for you — and his distasteful decision to picket funerals with the church he leads is quite unsettling! Ah, forgive me, I clearly am thinking of the wrong Phelps. Many joys to you and the mermen and maids which you are liable to produce.

    6. While there is no issue with sir Jonathan Knight, I am quite shocked that you would not choose other pop-singing John knights, namely Sir Elton John, whose elegance and sexual openness is tenfold that of Jonathan.

    7. Best wishes to you and Sir Cooper! His 360 is quite renowned. I only wish I myself could be in your own shoes when such action commences :-(

    8. While he may be bringing Sexy Back inside from within your trousers, I caution you. The man who penned that very song also penned “Chop Me Up”, “Losing My Way”, and “Never Again.” Such phrases do not bode well for bedroom pleasures :-(

    9. As a poor Jangle as myself can afford no such luxury as HBO, I can only wish you best of luck regarding Mr. Grenier and the entourage of sexual feats which he may bring to the table.

    10. Clearly, aside from myself, Jon Stewart is the best choice for father.

    I hope I have been helpful in your selection process, and also hope you will look at my photographic resume (which I shall send shortly via e-mail) and consider myself for this honorable position.

  • That Trollpop just gets creepier and creepier!

  • I love Trollpop….not as much as Anderson Cooper though, perhaps after he’s set you up with a little Anderson you could send him my way?

  • Trollpop: I’m still waiting.

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