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"That's What She Said" with a Bonus Rant Session

Thursdays are my favorite day for blogging, because I can post a link to my column and call it good.  Frankly, I’m too stressed out to be clever, and since I can’t afford a therapist I’m going to vent here.  If you don’t like it there’s this cute little button at the top of the page with an X on it just for you.  Come back tomorrow.  I’m sure I’ll have some stupid, embarrassing moment to share.  If I leave home, something humiliating is bound to happen.

I’m about to have a pity part here.  Seriously, are you sure you don’t want to log off? Fine.  I warned you.

Yesterday, I found out how much it will cost to finish my degree and needless to say I’m considering prostitution.  Look for me on a street corner near you!

On top of that, after five years of living in my tiny princess pad, my rent is being raised.  I told myself when I moved in that I wasn’t moving out until I purchased my own home.  How very naive of me.  My salary isn’t high enough to afford an education and a house.  I’m not willing to give up on my education quite yet, so it looks like I’m stuck in my tiny apartment without a proper kitchen, AC or laundry.

I know, I know… I’m VERY fortunate to have a job, an apartment, and a chance at a higher education. And while I know how incredibly lucky I am to have these things it doesn’t stop me from noticing those around me who can afford a much nicer lifestyle, and still manage to whine about life.  The worst part is biting my tongue when I really want to tell them all to fuck off.  I don’t because I love them.  And that, folks, is what love is: not telling people to fuck off.

For now, I’ll continue to go to work every day, and then I’ll go to school.  Afterward, I’ll come home and cry because I’m terrified of how I’m going to pay for it all.  Promise me when you see me on the street corner you won’t heckle me.

And if you do, I won’t write columns about threesomes anymore.  How’s that for punishment?

Comments

  • Maybe you should befriend your old lady stalker. She might be your solution to your money woes. She could be looking for a cute boobied little butt girl to adopt. So she can give the above cblb girl her money instead of leaving it to her cats.

  • I looked for that cute little “X” thing you spoke of, but couldn’t find it. Then I realized it’s because I have a new Mac which uses some crazy stoplight coded system on the upper left hand side. What is up with that? Seriously. I’m baffled.

    But wait – this is about YOU. Sorry. I feel sorry for you. Struggling is struggling no matter what your circumstances are, and it sucks. I always tell people not to judge their lives against the lives of others – good OR bad. Don’t invalidate your feelings. To you, life sucks. Sure, it might look great to someone else, but that’s not your reality. In your reality you are trying to better your life by getting an education and you don’t think it’s unreasonable to do that in a/c whilst your underthings dry in your own home – not on display for the myriads at the laundromat. I get that.

    So go ahead and have your sulk and get it out of your system. Then it’s chin up, young lady! You’re a great writer and you WILL get through school and you WILL be happy with your life at some point. It just takes time.

    PS – In response to your Comcast twitter in the sidebar. (how stalkerish does THAT sound? Sorry) But anyway… if you get their VOIP phone service you can sometimes get a bundling deal that saves $$. Or if you don’t have a land line and don’t need one, I would call them and ask what kind of deals they can offer you because you’re thinking about leaving. Times are tough – if you get someone nice, they might help you to keep the business. If not – see if you have Verizon FIOS in the area. If you do, I’d use them to blackmail Comcast. Cheers! (And this is THE longest comment I’ve ever left anyone. Ever.)

  • Keep your chin up, you can do it.

    I thought this is what love was:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArnmDSvpurM&feature=related

    is that wrong?

  • Is it too early for a glass of wine???

  • I’m sorry you are having financial difficulties.
    Its lucky for me that my clients usually call on the phone to talk to me…working in accounting and doing taxes for people who earn 500k a year and whine about paying taxes make me want to strangle them and yell: “Me? I’m paying for a lawyer to keep my kid safe and am thinking of selling plasma as a way to pay for her birthday present.”
    But sometimes loving someone is telling them to fuck off- I am going to be telling my father that next month- in court- to protect my 3 year old brother. Funny how you can love someone and hate them so much…

  • Okay, I think I fall into the category of people you hate. I continue to shop and bitch about my life. Although, if it makes you feel better, owning your own home isn’t that great. HALF of my paycheck goes to the effing mortgage, and what do I have to show for it? A house that is worth about $100,000 less than what I paid for it. Although it has forced me to stay committed to a boyfriend I might otherwise kill.

  • It’s all about priorities. You just have to figure out what is important, and spend accordingly. Like this:

    1. Wine
    2. Food for Daisy
    3. Rent
    4. Gas for scooter
    5. Wine
    6. Internet access
    7. Scooter Accessories
    8. Wine
    9. Food
    10. Education

    Done. That was easy.

  • Thanks for not telling me to fuck off.

    Seriously though; we (MrsAK and myself) feel the same way when we see people with much better lives (you know about our situation), bitching about their seemingly meaningless problems. I guess it makes me feel better realizing that there are always going to be people better off than you and there are always going to be people worse off. You just have to live with what you have.

    It is also nice having close friends that you refrain from telling to fuck off.

  • Have you considered writing a book? You could make some money there. I’d be the first in line to buy it. I’m confident some of your other readers would also make the purchase.

  • Pingback: Hey, Dirty, Baby I Got Your Money « Pants, pants, PANTS!

  • I’ve got our solution: ANTHRAX VACCINE!

  • I highly encourage you, Sarah Bradshaw, to author a book. At the signing I, like Ron Livingston himself, shall come forth as thy plus one, and we two shall be happily wealthy and keen in our understanding of all things fashionable and sexual. Ah, what a life indeed.

    Regarding your rather upsetting comments hinting towards a future in jiggilotry, I strongly suggest you find other, lesser evil money-making methods which will save thy house and education, as well as thy precious flower. Soft-core pornography, for instance, is a very profitable industry (and I should know eh ;-] ), and while I realize this is not my source for porn, I highly ask you to forget these foolish 21.7th century notions of propriety, and embrace the 21.8th with all its evocative grandeur! Drugs peddling, striptease dancing, grave-digging — many, many profitable occupations yet await thee. Your life has just begun :-)

  • Forgive me for incorrectly labeling the 21.07th and 21.08th centuries as 21.7 and 21.8 respectively. So emotional was I in my pleading, the principles of mathematics escaped me completely.

  • Oh Sarah, Sarah, Sarah! I so feel your pain. This morning as I was getting ready, listening to the people above me tromping around, I was going through in my head all of the bills I need to pay and how I was going to make it work. Plus my lease is up and they are going to raise my rent significantly. The LAST thing I want to do is move but I may be forced too as well!
    Sorry, don’t mean to rank on your page. Just wanted to let you know I feel for ya.

  • Hey I say “It’s your party, you can cry if you want to!!!” If people don’t like reading here they should exit stage right!

    I am sorry you are having a difficult time. I work at a University and I see all to often, the struggles of some of our students with work and getting their education. It’s very difficult when you see people like you who really want to get an education and are so motivated.

    Now, are you seeking any financial aid, grants etc? If you want, email me the name of your college and I’ll see if I can find out through someone in our financial aid office if there’s a way we can maybe find a special “loophole” or program for you!

    Hugs and sloppy pug kisses!

    Jules

  • You may not have to do prostitution, but you can still make a killing as a dancer at a gentleman’s club. You did take that pole dancing class and everything, so I think you’ll be set!

    Seriously though, these are tough financial times for us all, and its especially rough trying to pay for school at a time like this. I’m glad the country was in a much better financial state when I was going through school, but now that I’m looking at financing law school, believe me, I’m worried about racking up a mortgage worth of loans for 3 years too.

    Good luck to us all, and we should all just fuck off a little as well.

  • It isn’t the material things in life that make people happy. Are you sure they can afford the stuff they have? They may be way over extended financially and seriously stressed about it.

    I have student loans, child support, other bills and an over priced old shitty apartment.

    But I have great friends, a decent job and the apartment is in an awesome area.

    I keep plugging away at it all and hope it will all fall into place eventually. Hang in there There are many people just like you.

  • how does dooce do it? ($$)
    do you need better ads? or just more traffic? maybe just charge trollpop a quarter every time he comments?

  • Two words: STUDENT LOANS! They are worth it- and think of it this way, nobody can ever reposes your education.

  • Stick with the education, it will serve you better in the long run than the STDs you’re sure to get if you start pimpin yourself out on State Street. Besides, you need a really good pimp who would have your back and make sure you only get in the cars that cost more than your yearly tuition bill…and well I’m in Chicago honey and I can’t be a good pimp this far away!

    I think you should start charging Trollpop $.25 per word on his comments. Your income would skyrocket!

  • I feel the same way most of the time. Really, really I do.

  • Education first priority. You can consider prostitution, and then get pregnant right before you graduate. Then get a good job that will let you and your child live a lifestyle you deserve. Then quit the prostitution.

    Or, go to your bishop and plead poverty.

  • I’m right there with you on the street corner.
    If selling my body wasn’t SO gross and I didn’t have to deal with gross guys, I might actually be there.

    Off to work MORE OT and cut coupons.

  • Seriously, my income for my first year of school, was enough to get all my taxes back. I cried like a baby standing there in my cap and gown feeling as though I’d concured the world (and slept through the rest, as my name is at the top of the alphabet).

    You can do it! It’s worth it. I went though the same thing and now all my friends who had it all while I was struggleing though school are up to debt to their eyeballs – and topped out in their jobs (sigh, no degree). Keep plugging away. Look for free money and ways to cuts costs. Don’t give up and don’t sell your body. It’s a nice body with the best features being your wit, humor and heart. Don’t give up!

  • I’m with the others. Write a book, or three. I’ll buy all of them. Maybe you can sell your website more like that Dooce lady does. How is she living off a website and you can’t?

    Whatever you do, don’t give up on your education. The fact you’ve gone back proves it’s important to you. You’ll through this, and you’ve got a much of strangers rooting for you and praying for you. Not everyone can say that.

    Chin up.

  • BOOK!BOOK!BOOK!BOOK!BOOK!BOOK!BOOK!

    Go. Write it right this second. I’m setting aside $30 for it.

  • Unless you are attending the University of Phoenix or some kind of for-profit “higher education” program, I suggest getting yourself some inexpensive therapy through your school.

    Seriously.

  • If you set up the transaction, my lovely, I am happy to pay a fourth of a dollar for every loving comment which I grace upon thy site. Such is love.

  • maybe trollpop can be your sugardaddy?

  • I know how you feel. I am stuck in a rut at the moment and not really sure which way my life is going

    It annoys me cause i stuggle so much whilst i work full time yet some of my friends who have kids and dont work seem to be living the high life cause of all the child payments they get

    You would think me, who is working my arse off, rather than not working and having kids, would be better off…

    Sorry it that offends anyone who has kids.. im not saying that it is any worse or better than working… its just annoying how some people use the money they get

    OK rant over.

  • Thank you everyone for your kind and supportive comments. It certainly made a crappy day less crappy. I thank you for that.

    A couple of things:

    1) Dooce/Heather has millions of readers, I don’t. That’s how she is able to make enough money to support her family from a blog. Heather is an incredibly talented woman and I think she deserves every cent she makes from her site.

    My site does bring in a small income, but mostly gasoline and chocolate money at this point. Which is great, I’m not complaining. The more readers I have, the more money I’ll make. So if you’re feeling generous add me to your blogroll and cross your fingers we all get some more traffic.

    2) Trollpop will not be charged to leave comments, though the idea did make me giggle! I think we’ve all come to enjoy his comments, especially ones we understand.

    3) As for the book idea, I’ve been working on a book of essays for the past couple of months. Selling it won’t be as easy as writing it. I still have a lot to figure out there. It’s fantastic to know there’s an interest there. So fantastic in fact I’m going to celebrate with chocolate. That is if I can find my damn BFF to bring me some.

  • I don’t have a blog so I can’t add you to a blogroll, but I’ve emailed my friends with your link telling them about my fortunate find on the Internet.

    Good luck with the book. You could always self publish. Lots of bloggers do that.

  • Hi, I found your blog on this new directory of WordPress Blogs at blackhatbootcamp.com/listofwordpressblogs. I dont know how your blog came up, must have been a typo, i duno. Anyways, I just clicked it and here I am. Your blog looks good. Have a nice day. James.

  • I’m really glad i live in Australia. I’m about to finish my degree and haven’t paid a cent (besides textbooks, etc). Of course, i owe some money – however, it is through the government. When i start earning over $35 000 a year, which i will when i graduate, they take a small percentage out of your pay until it’s paid off. No huge interest, nobody coming to break your legs – you have to be earning enough to survive before they take money, and if you die or something, the debt just goes away.

  • I admire you getting your degree. It does suck trying to figure out how to pay for it. I’m getting my master’s while working full time and part time and paying a mortgage. I had to take out student loans, but where you are stressing how to pay for school now, I’m stressing how to pay it off when I’m finished. Stress never ends, and it sucks!

  • Sarah, I recently gave up my dream of PhD because of tuition, I’m already in a boatload of student debt and couldn’t take on more. Good for you for going for your dream…I was so close and it wasn’t possible. You’re definitely not alone!

    Kat

  • It burns me to watch shows on Home and Guardian where lawyers, doctors, etc are buying huge, fancy, million dollar homes and they say “I have to do work to fix it up” or “The kitchen is outdated.”

    Fuck me! I’d gladly be able to afford that home – outdated kitchen and all!

  • My point (since I forgot to get to it): You are not a whiner. Not compared to those I referred to.

    The only kind of “whining” I would consider that would make you a “whiner” is when you talk of wine – but that would be without the “h”.

  • I know what it’s like to live in a box and scrap by. Blogging is the best therapy.

    I am thinking you need to take it up a notch. Perhaps tell stories of a foursome???

  • Two Words

    Student Loans

    I went back to school when I was 33. I used student loans to pay for it all. Not having to figure out how to pay for frivilous crap like rent and food AND school was a great relief.

    After you graduate, you have a six month grace period. Then you consolidate all your loans (you get a separate one for each semeser/trimester/module), and get a low monthly payment until you die, but you will be an educated corpse.

    Oh, and by the way, when I stareted school in 2002 I was making $12/hour, now I make $35. So, all that debt was worth it, huh? I own a house now too.

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