The cable guy hates my dog AND wants me to wear a bra. Can you believe that? Service oriented my ass.
“Ma’am (FIRST MISTAKE) I’m here to install your Internet. Would you like me wait outside while you get dressed?”
“No. I’d like you to install my Internet. How else am I going to use bit torrent to steal my shows? Besides what do you have against my pink, pug pajamas?”
“OH MY GOD! Pug pajamas are illegal? Well I don’t care. They are cute enough to go to prison for. Wait. Would I be allowed to take them to prison with me? If not I may be willing to give them up. I mean really what’s the point of going to prison for something I’m not even allowed to have in prison. Right?”
“Um… Ma’am (Seriously, again with calling me old!) I’m sure your pajamas are legal, but downloading television is a crime.”
“Ohhh… OK, well I was kidding about that part. (… ahem) Come on in. You brought coffee right?”