The men who date me really deserve a Medal of Honor, because dating me is exactly like serving our country, only the survival rate is much lower.
“You know how I’m obsessed with making lists and Google docs?”
“Yeah, Sarah, I know.”
“Well, I created a Google doc for all of your good and bad qualities.”
“You did? I want to read it.”
“No. What if it hurts your feelings?”
“Sarah, it won’t. I promise.”
“Oh riiiight, because you don’t have any feelings… that’s already on the list.”