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The Right to Read

In an effort to stay awake during class last night I had three cups of coffee beforehand.  I had no trouble staying awake because my bladder was screaming at me. I quietly slipped out the back of the classroom to find the bathroom.  On my way, I noticed there was a copy of The New York Times left on the freebie student rack.  Not wanting someone else to get it I grabbed it, tucked it under my arm and walked into the ladies room.

Sitting in the hallway were two very young boys.  One turns to the other and says, “Dude, chicks do that too?  I thought only old men pooped and read the newspaper.”

That’s me, paving the way for all women to poop and read freely.


  • Outstanding! I really didn’t think women did that too.

  • The next thing you know, you’re going to be wearing one piece coveralls that zip up the front and shaking your fist at kids to get off your lawn.

  • It only counts if you left the seat up when you were done…

  • What?!? Girls don’t poop. Everybody knows that. ;)

  • When I take the newspaper into the restroom, it isn’t to read and poop. It’s to give the illusion that’s what I’ll be doing so no one follows me in – and then I nap.

    Ok, not really.
    But damn I think I’m on to something here.

  • I’m with Kate. That idea is pure genious. BTW, where is that cute black and white BFF picture that you were going to photoshop?

  • My bathroom reading consists of catalogs, Newsweek (which I got for free because I sent money to KUER), and books I don’t really want to read, but think I should finish anyway.

    You are in an entirely different echelon reading the NY Times. I bow to you.

  • After so many years of having to have “reading material” to make the process happen – I refer to it now as “Pavlov’s Bowels.” Thank goodness, many men’s rooms actually have a page or two of the day’s paper posted above the urinal! THEY understand….

  • You trailblazer you! Nicely done.

  • Such serious stuff for bathroom reading material…you intellectual, you!

  • Even though I was only in the restroom for a quick pee, I’d like to think I’m doing a lot for women’s rights movement everywhere. I’m very much a saint.

  • See now here’s how neurotic about that I am: I would have FORESEEN the assumption would be made whether I was walking in or walking out with the mag and would have taken the chance the mag would be gone when I got out. If I need something to pass the time, I go for some Cell Phone Tetris with the Sound OFF.

    Mostly though, I don’t ever go ANYWHERE but home…

  • Yes you are a saint and it’s about time the world took notice.

    Your boss should let you stay home and still pay you – just because you’re that good.

    And, Daisy should get paid too.
    I mean it’s not every dog that belongs to a saint.

  • Tis a proud day for all womankind, in every restroom stall, outhouse, or hole in the ground the world round! Females rejoice, thy savior has come wrapped in a New York Times article, defecating freedom to all who bid it come :-D

  • I think one of the things that made Dave realize our relationship could go somewhere was the day he saw the magazine rack in my bathroom. He was so excited. I didn’t realize it was weird for babes to read in the pooper. I was like, “What else am I supposed to do while I’m in there?”

    P.S. The magazine rack is now full of treats like Maxim and Men’s Fitness and Surfing Magazine. All of the girly magazines have moved to the couch so that I can keep myself entertained while baseball is on. Baseball takes lots longer than pooping.

  • Can you do a test drive with the second pug?
    I thought I already have 1, 2 can’t be any worse. But my pug absolutely will not share me with the other dog. He loves the other dog but thinks the other dog is his play thing to bite and lick and push around not another pet for me. I feel badly for other dog.
    How easy it is depends on how well the dogs get along.

  • I totally just talked about this in a post on my blog (http://andij1967.wordpress.com/2008/09/09/schizophrenia-aka-andis-ipod/) as an example of how weird I probably was. THANK YOU for making it cool so I’m not such an effing freak anymore! LOL

  • someone posts “suite reads” in our bathrooms so when you’re relieving yourself you have entertainment right there in front of your face.

    this week it was state laws.

    did you know it’s illegal to look at a moose from an airplane in alaska?

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