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Things I've Learned in College (Alternate Title: I'm a Fucking Idiot)

This semester I’ve learned that casual relationships and causal relationships are not the same thing. Typos are my bitch. I’ve also learned that under stress numbers sorta look the same.

For example, over the weekend I decided to run my DARS report to make sure I was on target to graduate in December. In the report I read that I still needed 16 credits. Do you see that anywhere in this report?

Dars Report

Yeah, I didn’t think so. Congratulate yourself on being smarter than I am.

In a panic I sent numerous emails and left voice mails for my adviser. I went on and on about how my sanity and bank account couldn’t handle another semester. I begged her to help me find a solution. I may or may not have been crying in two of the voice mails. Sure it’s only one class and not the end of the world, but I’m just ready to be done.

She emailed me back today to let me know what you guys already know: I’m bad with details. I have everything I need to graduate in December, EXCEPT my application for graduation that was due in June.

Thank God for late fees people. Seriously.


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