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This puppy is the Universe's way of telling me to fuck off.

Rosie Finlinson

Rosie Finlinson has a serious shoe fetish, or maybe it’s a thong fetish… either way it’s ruining my goddamn life. Luckily she doesn’t chew on them, but instead she drags them into the backyard.

I hate it, but I’m way too lazy to find a new place for my shoes to live. It’s easier to just try and pawn her off on anyone who will take her.

Seriously.

Yesterday the guy roofing my house was playing with her in the backyard. I use the term play loosely. What I really mean is that Rosie ran circles around him as he cleaned up.

“She’s so cute. Do you know where I could get a pug?”

“I do. You can have this crazy bitch right now.”

He laughed, but didn’t take her home. Who’s the crazy bitch now? Oh right, me. The one who decided a second dog was a good idea.

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