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Used One-Eyed Pug for Sale, Inquire Within

A good night of rest is key to my survival, and mostly the survival of others. I get grumpy, FINE grumpier, when I’m tired.

I got shit for sleep last night, and that bitch I live with is to blame. My dog somehow found a way to open my lower kitchen cabinet without opposable thumbs. Here she found a giant Costco sized bag of dried cheese tortellini pasta, and proceeded to eat half the bag. When I got home at midnight I found the mess. Too tired to yell, I just cleaned up, let her out and went to bed.

Around 2:00 a.m. she woke me up and needed to be let out. In a zombie state I stumbled down the stairs and let her outside. She took care of business and I went back to bed.

Then again around 3:30 a.m. we made the same trip. And then again at 4:45 a.m.! Finally at 5:30 a.m. when she woke me up for the last time I lost it. I yelled at her, and then cried because I was simply exhausted, proving I should never, ever be a parent. Or a dog owner.

In fact, I decided I was a cat person. I can overlook my extreme allergy. Who cares if I can’t breathe and 90% of my body will be covered in hives? Not me. I want an animal trained to use a litter box.

Now I just have to go home and tell this cute face I’m breaking up with her. Luckily for her my follow through is total crap.

Comments

  • Welcome to the last 9 months of my life. I’m thinking you are a fish person. you need to kiss and make up with Daisy, think of it this way now you don’t have to buy her that colon cleanse.

  • Sometimes I wonder why I have such a bad stigma towards pets. .. not anymore.

    Hell, I can’t even keep a plant alive, who am I kidding.

  • Welcome to my life, except my little one talks back.

  • Even the most seemingly well-behaved dogs can be brats sometime. After a nearly 2 hour walk this weekend and requisite post-walk pig ear, my dog (after I left) thought it a good idea to try and bury the ear in the fireplace before eating it. Deciding that the fireplace probably wasn’t the best place for it, she attempted to bury it, sooty paws in all, in the couch cushions downstairs, despite have to leap over the couch barricades. (Rosé storms le barricades!) I was not at all pleased to see that.

  • i think they train dogs to user litter boxes, like those little fluffy i carry my dog in my purse type dogs.

  • I think you have probably heard – we have the same problem with our 10 year old German Shepard who can no longer wait until morning to go out and pee and goes to each sleeping person at 3AM to try to wake them up to be let out…

  • Kitty litter stinks.

  • I found bugs on your website with the comment form! Remind me to fix them tomorrow.

  • I would take Daisy but my cat would eat her.

  • Maybe she has a bladder infection…it would explain the frequent need to go.

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