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What Baby Ass and Hookers Have in Common

Getting old(er) sucks the big one. I hate waking up in the morning and seeing both zits and wrinkles. IT’S NOT FAIR! It’s like my own personal punishment from Jesus for having lovely, clear skin in my youth.

Recent stress has me looking and feeling way older than I want to. After weeks of screaming at my reflection in the mirror I decided to take matters into my own hands. My face needed a vacation in the worst way.

I researched the shit out of skin creams and realized just how expensive that option was. For the money I’d be better off spending a day in the spa.

So I did.

I went to Mountain Medical Spa in Murray and tried microdermabrasion for the first time. I’m totally hooked! My face feels baby butt smooth, which is fantastic for me, but not so fantastic for the stranger in the elevator. As it turns out, complete strangers do not want to rub my face to see how silky smooth it is.

I was worried it may be a painful procedure, but it wasn’t. It was like an intense massage complete with relaxing music in the background. The clinic is technically a medical center, but it felt more like a spa full of gal pals. The only way I could have enjoyed my experience more is if they had offered me a hooker and a vodka tonic.

I’m going back next week to try out some of the other offered treatments, so I’ll keep you updated on the hooker offering.

And now for the question portion of this post:

What about you… have you had any procedures? If so which ones? Were you happy with them?


  • I’ve always been curious about chemical peels. I’ve had the home version of a dermabrasion facial and felt like it wasn’t enough

  • Mom owns a laser clinic and spa and swears by the laser hair removal – no more shaving legs and underarms. Ever.

  • I’ve seen the ads for that place on TV, and I’m not usually taken in by ads (so says I), but this one had me curious.

    I’m not quite to the age where I have to worry about skin treatments, but that’s just around the corner, and I have absolutely no qualms with manipulating my face to remain younger looking.

    My plan at the moment is to keep using my eye cream, and try to get into a healthy lifestyle which will help me look young anyway.

    But it’s nice to know microdermabrasion will be there when I need it.

  • I’ve never had spa treatments, but I have had hookers and vodka. You’re probably less likely to catch something your way.

  • Does it take a couple days for your face to stop flaking off?

    The only thing I’ve had done was some facials where the pick all your zits and poke needles in your face to get all the zit crap up to the surface.

    It makes you look really bad for a couple days but once I healed, my zit problems went away!

    So how much was your procedure?

  • You just cost me a lot of money. I’m now going to obsess about which of those services I need first.

  • Damn you for not meeting me for lunch so I can feel your baby butt smooth face!

  • Ha! You didn’t think you’d hear from a guy, did you? I too have had the micro-derm thingy, and it did make my face smoother for about a day or so. Then my stubble grew back out and you couldn’t tell.

    I’m blessed with young genes, also called “Dick Clark’s Disease”, so I don’t physically age very fast. I’m pushing 40, but I still look roughly 30. My brother is 40 and looks about 20-something, and my dad is 64 and could pass for 45 with a little hair dye. I’m happy knowing that the way I look right now is pretty much the way I’ll look for the next 20 years. That’s about the only positive thing I can say about my appearance.

  • I have never had anything like that done…but I did have my first (and maybe only) prostate exam this year. I almost knocked out the dr.

    As for the hookers…bring one with you next time.

  • I let my boyfriend jizz on my face. Works wonders. Sure, cringe all you like. Don’t knock it till you try it.

  • I’ve had the same thing. If I ever go again it’ll be for a chemical peel.

    What other procedure are you having done? Implants? I’m pro Sarah-implants.

  • My former roommate (a dude) did microdermabrasion. He said his face bled, but it felt good. He said he also got some kind of zappy surgery to smooth down pockmarks from acne. I have no experience with procedures except to get my hair cut twice a year. Maybe three times.

    Someone needs to find Bex and ask if she rinses it off or if it’s more like a peel. Or does she just leave it on like night cream?

  • I’ve been privy to a multi-vitamin treatment at the Shirodhara Day Spa, which I’ve blogged about for your pleasure here: http://talkingthroughthehat.blogspot.com/2009/01/naked-at-day-spa.html

    Anyway, it worked out in the end and my face is better than ever before!

  • Hi Sarah. Can I ask how much that cost? I have been thinking about trying it but don’t know if it is in the budget. I would love to try it though.
    PS. Big fan of your site!

  • My microbrasion hurt like a mother f*cker but it made my skin feel nice.

    I had my first ever facial and OMG, the amazing, amazing, AMAZING loveliness that was. 90 minutes of bliss and my skin felt amazing.

    I want to try a chemical peel in a few years to even out my skin tone and also want to look at botox if the grand canyon continues to grow on my forehead.

  • @ Erin. Leave it on over night while you sleep, and just wash your face as usual in the morning. Ahhh… sperm. The untapped resource. Go protein shake!!

  • I’ve tried microdermabrasion but didn’t really notice a huge difference. My indulgence is getting facials monthly, if I can afford it. Facials are seriously waaaay better than massages, and without the “getting-naked-in-front-of-strangers” part.

    And Bex – The HELL??? That’s class, people.

  • Please take me more seriously.

  • I am sure they have hookers and vodka available, you just have to ask.

    I plan to get a facial before Blogher…so people think I am a teenager.

  • I tried several procedures. Very costly with short term effects. I tried laser, burned like hell and got a nasty staff infection that I am still having trouble getting totally healed after a years time.

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