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What Would You Do

Cleaning my apartment this morning there was a pesky bottle of wine taking up space.  It needs to be thrown out, but there’s a glass and a half left.

Do you:

A)    Pour the wine down the drain.

B)    Look to see if anyone is watching, drink the wine while telling yourself you’re not really an alcoholic you’re just not willing to waste money, or wine.

C)    Happily pour yourself a glass of wine to accompany your breakfast while toasting yourself for being so awesome.

Obviously I chose C, which would you choose?

Comments

  • D) Drink it straight from the bottle.

  • I gotta go with B. Living on a budget makes us all do crazy things.

  • C was the only correct answer. Wine is made from grapes, grapes are fruit. Fruit is a breakfast item. Good call!

  • B. Not only am I cheap, but I’m also a hypocrite. Great…

  • :-(

    It is worse than I had anticipated. The liquor fairies have struck once more upon your destitute life. Truly, they are relentless. In a single week you have heard voices in wine, played with a firearm while drinking wine, and now toasted your own precious skin while sipping a breakfast wine.

    Thy auditory skills are slipping, which has caused you to hear voices in anonymous objects (a glass of wine, a mirror, etc.). Thy sense of vision is equally fading, causing you to debaucherously shake your precious abstinent bottom-dwellers at an unsuspecting child. You have eaten salty soy beans and expected them to be chocolate — taste. Oh I daren’t go on!

    Three senses have left thee, and with them your judgement, replacing them with delusions of grandeur, paranoia, inability to distinguish a good film from a poor one, and unfounded depression. From one dear friend to another, I urge you to seek help soon, before we the readers are endangered. I fear you may quickly become another John Hinckley on the loose if you do not control this rampant addiction!

    Your sincere interventionist,
    Trollpop Janglestein

  • duh … C is the ONLY answer that would apply here.

  • Trollpop, is it too much to ask for you not to be an ass on Sundays? I mean even God had a day of rest, can’t you?

  • Sarah, I think the more appropriate question is: What Would Jesus Do? It is Sunday for Christ’s Sake!!!

  • My dearest of Bellums:

    I hadn’t the foggiest idea that you found me to be an “ass” or any other such negative term, from which you would need a break. Like a husband confronted with divorce for the first time, so am I; dumbfounded, saddened, and all at once illuminated: words such as “creep”, “fucking freak”, “Charles Manson”, “creepy”, and “annoying” I had merely assumed to be strange complements. But now I see that they were meant to insult; and you, my darling, would side with them.

    And so, as per before a divorce, I offer you a separation. For one week to this day, I shall not be seen, in comment or in viewing, upon this fair blog. If you find, after a week, that you deem my absence better than my presence, I, sad and dejected, will gather up my bag of songs and poetry, and leave you be. For I am not, as some have rudely suggested, a nonsensical troll, but a man of propriety. I would never inflict upon you my own unwanted presence.

    Goodbye my dearest Bellum, and sing my goodbyes further to the Captain, whom I equally care for. May this separation last but a week.

  • Kel: You know me so well! It was titled that and I changed it at the last second.

    To all those who chose, and continue to choose C cheers to all of us.

    Trollpop: No need to take a week off. Don’t you know I’m the only drama queen allowed around these parts? I only meant no likening myself to a serial killer, especially not on Sunday.

  • B or C depending on who was around. :) Either way – you can’t waste wine!

  • I would like to say C…but in reality it would be B…..does that mean I actually have a problem?!

  • C, dude. Nothing is worth doing if you can’t do it with some confidence.

  • If it didn’t smell like vinegar than I would go with C!

  • Duh. C. People drink champagne with breakfast all the time … along with chicken abortions.

  • C – Is there really another choice :)

  • Ooo, morning buzzes are the best!

  • E. None of the above. There is never any wine leftover in my house LOL

  • I had wine for breakfast once.
    (Who’s counting?)
    So, I would choose C,
    but as you can guess, I already have!

  • C. Definitely.

    And given Trollpop’s posts, I even more so believe he is RLO.

  • D. Why throw it away or force yourself to drink it right away? Surely a bottle of wine doesn’t take up that much space.

  • SRA: You’ve obviously never seen my apartment. My counter space is very limited. I don’t even have room for a toaster, so a magnum bottle of wine really takes up space.

  • C is definitely the answer. And if it weren’t Sunday and you weren’t in Utah, I would suggest that one magnum, it is I am sure quite lonely, all the more reason to go buy more, you can’t possibly finish the bottle and not have a back up.

  • B, although that’s a tough sell when you are sitting alone in your closet with a black eye, wearing a stained shirt and someone else’s underwear, and have an empty bottle of bourbon between your legs.

  • Hm. Huh. I choose D, none of the above!!

    I would freeze it in an ice cube tray and use it in cooking. Or (teeny little voice..) throw it down the drain because Im totally OCD and weird.

  • I have to agree, C is the only obvious choice here! Certainly there can be no greater joy than toasting oneself on a Sunday when one does not have to be in church faking good behavior, which I did on multiple occassions!

    Note: Cory’s comment scares me a little! Too close to home if you know what I mean.

  • Wine should always be drank on Sunday’s, especially in you live in Utah….

  • I’m going to agree with the first commenter “Pants”.
    Or should wine for breakfast be consumed from a glass?

  • I wanna know why there was still a glass and a half left. The bottle should have been slain at its first opening.

  • Sunday Funday = brunch and cocktails. Do it up, sista.

  • Ummmm…C. No contest.

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