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Wost. Fortune. Ever.

I got this fortune in a cookie today: You will inherit an unexpected sum of money within the year.

This isn’t a fortune, it’s a curse. A horrible, horrible curse! I’m going to be paranoid for the next year someone I love is going to die. I’m going to buy everyone vitamins for Christmas. And Ben, start wearing your damn seatbelt!


  • My name is Spooky. Your attitudes sucks, which is appropriate since you give head to Mormon statues.

    I was going leave you my 27 million dollars, but I want someone who is more optimistic to have my fortune.

    Sorry, I guess one could say that the cookie has crumbled.

    Have a great day!

  • It seems to me that lately you have had a few rather creepy comments left by anonymous posters. I hope that you don’t let it discourage you.

  • And I thought this fortune that my wife got a few years back was bad:

    “Although you lack ambition, you may still succeed in life.”

    She does lack ambition, and she actually has succeeded, so I guess fortunes sometimes do come true.

    As for yours, it never said if the “sum” was positive or negative. This, I guess, means things can always get worse. Not to throw denatured alcohol on the problem, but…

  • after an incredibly long argument with my mother about how i was not going to go to nursing school, EVER, my fortune said, “You will have a career in medicine.”

    i was sitting across from my medical student boyfriend.

    i’m guessing you just had to be there 😉

  • Did you forget to add the all important phrase “in bed” to the end of your fortune?

  • Anon: I always thought Spooky was a friendly ghost. I’d love your money but really I’d just donate it to awesome girls with crap attitudes. We make people laugh and that is worth the occasional ill-intended comment.

    Kerrith: Thanks for the kind words. Those comments I heart! No worries, I’m not going to let a few comments stop me from sharing my bad attitude!

    Erat: That’s a good one too! I like the way you think…

    Charlotte: Oh the irony!

    AK: Shit, I forgot. See how retarded I get when I don’t have my daily geek intake?

  • Maybe someone’s dog will die, instead. Maybe that dog will be wealthy.

    Hey, you can hope.

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