Dear Robert Redford,
I’m over Sundance and therefore feel like I should break up with you as well. After years of attending I’m not nearly as excited to go as I once was. Ticket prices have doubled since I started attending and actually getting the films you want is nearly impossible. I did, however, get a few good documentaries and a free dose of humiliation. There are ways to prevent this–I’ll explain.
When choosing where to place your volunteers never, ever put the hard of hearing at the ticket counter. When you are placing an order and you are asked to repeat the film name over and over until you’re yelling it for all to hear it sucks, because undoubtedly the movie will be Good Dicks, causing said elder, female volunteer to blush and you’ll look end up looking like a dirty pervert.
Think ahead and also please stop sucking my bank account dry.